I simply cannot believe Christmas is on Sunday. Where has the year gone? Where will next year go? Will I have enough time to crank out some pumpkin bread? Just a few reflections about this year, and because I am lazy and time has gotten away from me I have not sent out any kind of Christmas card this year - so consider this my Christmas newsletter from my family to you :).
This year a lot has happened (so cliche...but probably true most of the time)! Our little family took a big step out on faith and moved to Katy, TX from, well from wherever the job was before that - pretty much all over to one place :).
Tim is going to school to be an automotive technician and is loving it! He is doing well in school, and has passed 3 of his ASE certification tests already! I am immensely proud of the work he has put in and his success thus far in school, and he is excited to realize his goal of becoming a technician. Next year he plans on passing 6 more certification exams and becoming a Master Tech after his experience requirement is met, and hopes to get a job at a dealership as an assistant to get some hands on training. He is still loving video games, hanging out with our little man and working on Mia (his project car).
Jessica (that's me!) has made a change in career and is looking forward to what the next year may bring with the company she is currently employed with. I (sorry had to change tenses the 3rd person thing was weird) am loving being able to be home every night and to have a place to be able to become involved with a community and church. I joined a small book club and am enjoying interacting and reading new and different things! (I have ALWAYS wanted to be in one of those!).
Dylan is now 2 and is enjoying his daycare. He interacts well with the little kids at the daycare and is learning his numbers and colors. He is active and a whole lot of fun! This next step for him will be potty training! (cue scary music). We shall see how we handle all of that. He loves anything with wheels and locating school buses as they are 'yewwow wow!'.
Our little family is settling into everyday life and looking forward to purchasing a house somewhere on the horizon. We actually found one we like and may be in one sooner than we think!
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Thursday, December 8, 2011
BL - hold the T kick
So lately I have been lazy and not bringing my lunch. I just haven't had the energy or time or want to to (can you do that? to to? well, whatever I'm doing it) make lunches in the evening. Normally I dutifully prepare my lunch and a snack for D and my husband's lunch the evening before...but since I have come back from Thanksgiving I have not done it. 2 weeks is a long time to be eating out for lunch! Especially when you aren't used to the money being spent that way...oh well! In that time I have been eating BL's (because tomatoes are gross) from the little cafe downstairs in my office building.
Their food is not very good...as a rule eating there is kind of scary, but I have been on this BL kick for the past 2 weeks, and although I'm sure consuming that much bacon is not good for you - I have enjoyed it. I have forgotten how much I enjoy simple things like BL's or eggs and bacon for dinner. I think I have been overthinking meals for a while now, and serving things that take too long or are too 'fancy'. Like cornish hens with cream cheese mashed potatoes (which btw, no one liked except me).
My mom was never a good cook - she still isn't. We had about 8 go to meals we ate every week without fail: Spaghetti (sauce from the jar - Prego please :)), bbq baked chicken (and for so long I could not eat bbq sauce after that!), sloppy joes (I still haven't tried to eat these again!), hamburger helper, breakfast for dinner (mostly pancakes), roast (because what is a Sunday dinner without a roast?), and hamburgers. Pretty adventurous huh? She didn't bake anything that wasn't out of a box but she did make candy every Christmas! But none of that was really very important I suppose. What is important is I remember those dinners. She worked as a teacher and came home and we ate dinner together. She did it mostly on her own as my father traveled a lot when I was younger.
I need to go back and simplify the meals. It isn't about what I serve or how many desserts or cookies or whatnots I make, but about the time we spend together - even if it is McDonalds or bbq baked chicken!
Their food is not very good...as a rule eating there is kind of scary, but I have been on this BL kick for the past 2 weeks, and although I'm sure consuming that much bacon is not good for you - I have enjoyed it. I have forgotten how much I enjoy simple things like BL's or eggs and bacon for dinner. I think I have been overthinking meals for a while now, and serving things that take too long or are too 'fancy'. Like cornish hens with cream cheese mashed potatoes (which btw, no one liked except me).
My mom was never a good cook - she still isn't. We had about 8 go to meals we ate every week without fail: Spaghetti (sauce from the jar - Prego please :)), bbq baked chicken (and for so long I could not eat bbq sauce after that!), sloppy joes (I still haven't tried to eat these again!), hamburger helper, breakfast for dinner (mostly pancakes), roast (because what is a Sunday dinner without a roast?), and hamburgers. Pretty adventurous huh? She didn't bake anything that wasn't out of a box but she did make candy every Christmas! But none of that was really very important I suppose. What is important is I remember those dinners. She worked as a teacher and came home and we ate dinner together. She did it mostly on her own as my father traveled a lot when I was younger.
I need to go back and simplify the meals. It isn't about what I serve or how many desserts or cookies or whatnots I make, but about the time we spend together - even if it is McDonalds or bbq baked chicken!
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Thanksgiving - PLEASE DO OVER!
For some reason I always have these really good clips where I write semi regularly, then I fall off the wagon...oh well. I am back. And I want a Thanksgiving do over!
So a week from this past Sunday we had our thanksgiving dinner with my family at my parents house. Turkey, dressing, the trimmings and of course I made a chocolate pecan pie, because I had to contribute something!
It was fun :). Then we went to our community group at church and had another dinner (not Thanksgiving menu) and I brought this veggie dish that I didn't take a picture of, but promise to next time. It was good, and went well with pasta.
THEN on Wednesday we left for Oklahoma to go see Tim's parents. I was excited about helping to make Thanksgiving dinner and hanging out with the in-laws and going shopping on black friday and having our mini Christmas celebration with them too! But I wasn't feeling so hot. My neck was hurting and I was tired, and hadn't really had any kind of appetite all day. I brushed it off. We got there late Wednesday evening and all pretty much just went to bed.
On Thursday we woke up and I felt worse. I was dizzy and tired and nauseous and my neck still hurt. I was not in the mood to cook anything, and really couldn't stand up at all. I sat at the kitchen table and made a chocolate pecan pie, and a fruit salad, and a brownie pie, but then I basically sat out for the rest of the time. I was lame. I was breaking out in cold sweats after dizzy spells and didn't eat at all any of the fruits of my mother in laws efforts.
On Thursday evening is when the culmination came and I decided I was sick. I was sitting on the toilet (maybe tmi, but whatever) and my in laws have one of those old houses where you can see yourself in the mirror while you're peeing or whatever and I was looking at myself in the mirror. I got really dizzy and I watched my face drain of all color. Then I sweated all over the place and got flushed. It was odd...and all I could do to pull my pants up and go lay in bed, which is exactly what I did.
Needless to say I did not go shopping on black Friday. I also didn't go to the doctor, cause I'm a moron maybe, but I didn't until Friday between about 3 and 4 when Dylan was down for a nap, I said "I think I need to go to the doctor" There was some debate, and they finally convinced me the ER was the only place to go at this time in this area, so we went. I could barely make it there.
When we got there and I signed my name and answered the lady's questions, all the while thinking, "This is nuts! You should ask ppl who AREN'T sick to do this..I didn't come to the ER to have an oral test!". Then I waited (not very long as this is not a big hospital). And got called back. They let me sit on a bed...YAY! (I laid on it). They took my blood pressure...it was 79/49....my first thought was of humor for two reasons. 1. because I normally have high blood pressure, and for those of you not in the know 120/60 is about normal and 2. because they had this big debate the night before because my mother in law swore she could tell my blood pressure by my pulse and she guessed it was like 140 over something...we later steered her in the right direction and told her you can't tell blood pressure that way, but still funny right? Cause she was a little off...HOWEVER, my pulse was high (126). Ok, then they made me pee in a cup, and I was disgusted and scared by what I produced into that cup. It was just scary....I don't want to go into any more detail about it than that. Ok then, the doctor came in and said...'You're blood pressure is really low, and you're pulse is kinda high' and I am apparently very sarcastic when I am not feeling well, maybe always, cause my thought was 'I came all the way here for that? I could have done that!'. Then he left and did whatever he does, and then popped back in and said your urine is terribly infected (which I could tell by the scariness) and you are dehydrated and we are worried that you have lost some kidney function. We are going to start you on an IV antibiotic and some liquids and flush them out and you're going to have to stay overnight. GREAT. Overnight in the smallest hospital I've ever seen 8 hours away from my house. :(
Tim was great though, he stayed the first night with me and most of the next day, he brought Dylan up to see me and helped me pee. :) I was feeling much better and I thought I was going to get to leave Saturday, but that didn't happen...but thankfully I got to leave Sunday afternoon and eat REAL food! yay! That was my Thanksgiving adventure...so I'd like a redo! I missed all the pie and food!! Oh well, probably for the best anyhow. I just wish I could have spent more time enjoying my company rather than being an invalid!
So a week from this past Sunday we had our thanksgiving dinner with my family at my parents house. Turkey, dressing, the trimmings and of course I made a chocolate pecan pie, because I had to contribute something!
It was fun :). Then we went to our community group at church and had another dinner (not Thanksgiving menu) and I brought this veggie dish that I didn't take a picture of, but promise to next time. It was good, and went well with pasta.
THEN on Wednesday we left for Oklahoma to go see Tim's parents. I was excited about helping to make Thanksgiving dinner and hanging out with the in-laws and going shopping on black friday and having our mini Christmas celebration with them too! But I wasn't feeling so hot. My neck was hurting and I was tired, and hadn't really had any kind of appetite all day. I brushed it off. We got there late Wednesday evening and all pretty much just went to bed.
On Thursday we woke up and I felt worse. I was dizzy and tired and nauseous and my neck still hurt. I was not in the mood to cook anything, and really couldn't stand up at all. I sat at the kitchen table and made a chocolate pecan pie, and a fruit salad, and a brownie pie, but then I basically sat out for the rest of the time. I was lame. I was breaking out in cold sweats after dizzy spells and didn't eat at all any of the fruits of my mother in laws efforts.
On Thursday evening is when the culmination came and I decided I was sick. I was sitting on the toilet (maybe tmi, but whatever) and my in laws have one of those old houses where you can see yourself in the mirror while you're peeing or whatever and I was looking at myself in the mirror. I got really dizzy and I watched my face drain of all color. Then I sweated all over the place and got flushed. It was odd...and all I could do to pull my pants up and go lay in bed, which is exactly what I did.
Needless to say I did not go shopping on black Friday. I also didn't go to the doctor, cause I'm a moron maybe, but I didn't until Friday between about 3 and 4 when Dylan was down for a nap, I said "I think I need to go to the doctor" There was some debate, and they finally convinced me the ER was the only place to go at this time in this area, so we went. I could barely make it there.
When we got there and I signed my name and answered the lady's questions, all the while thinking, "This is nuts! You should ask ppl who AREN'T sick to do this..I didn't come to the ER to have an oral test!". Then I waited (not very long as this is not a big hospital). And got called back. They let me sit on a bed...YAY! (I laid on it). They took my blood pressure...it was 79/49....my first thought was of humor for two reasons. 1. because I normally have high blood pressure, and for those of you not in the know 120/60 is about normal and 2. because they had this big debate the night before because my mother in law swore she could tell my blood pressure by my pulse and she guessed it was like 140 over something...we later steered her in the right direction and told her you can't tell blood pressure that way, but still funny right? Cause she was a little off...HOWEVER, my pulse was high (126). Ok, then they made me pee in a cup, and I was disgusted and scared by what I produced into that cup. It was just scary....I don't want to go into any more detail about it than that. Ok then, the doctor came in and said...'You're blood pressure is really low, and you're pulse is kinda high' and I am apparently very sarcastic when I am not feeling well, maybe always, cause my thought was 'I came all the way here for that? I could have done that!'. Then he left and did whatever he does, and then popped back in and said your urine is terribly infected (which I could tell by the scariness) and you are dehydrated and we are worried that you have lost some kidney function. We are going to start you on an IV antibiotic and some liquids and flush them out and you're going to have to stay overnight. GREAT. Overnight in the smallest hospital I've ever seen 8 hours away from my house. :(
Tim was great though, he stayed the first night with me and most of the next day, he brought Dylan up to see me and helped me pee. :) I was feeling much better and I thought I was going to get to leave Saturday, but that didn't happen...but thankfully I got to leave Sunday afternoon and eat REAL food! yay! That was my Thanksgiving adventure...so I'd like a redo! I missed all the pie and food!! Oh well, probably for the best anyhow. I just wish I could have spent more time enjoying my company rather than being an invalid!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
New Car and Other Excitingness!
This weekend was a whirlwind! Tim and I attempted to sell his truck by putting it on Auto Trader a few weeks back, and to our surprise fairly soon after we placed the ad a buyer from American Auto Brokers called us to make us an offer. The offer didn't cover the difference of what we owed on the truck, but it was SIGNIFICANTLY more than anyone else has offered us for trade. So I called up the dealership and asked about making a trade in of both of our cars we had notes on (the 2500 truck, and the RAV4) for one vehicle from them.
They got us preapproved, and it was pain free! The whole experience was totally awesome, and I would recommend them to anyone in the market for a used truck/suv/and some cars. They don't have a big car selection, but maybe you could luck out like us and get a car like THIS! Which is the car we got :) Totally wonderfully awesome, yes?
ANYHOW, then I came home and took care of D, went to church & small group on Sunday and started preparing for his party. My little boy is turning two tomorrow! We are having his party this weekend and my father in law is coming - but that is another story entirely.
I made a cupcake cake. I had read about them online and heard about them through friends, and my sister actually had one made for my other sister's birthday not too long ago, so I wanted to attempt to make one myself. Here are my results.
I am going to add some finishing touches - some more frosting and some decorations. I will update you on what it looks like later :D.
My little boy turns 2! Here is a last look at him at 1, because the next time I post pics of him, he will more than likely be 2 - cause his birthday is tomorrow in case you have forgotten during my ramblings (ok, yes I know that explanation was probably not needed, but I cannot help myself! I think I talk to stupid people too often!).
They got us preapproved, and it was pain free! The whole experience was totally awesome, and I would recommend them to anyone in the market for a used truck/suv/and some cars. They don't have a big car selection, but maybe you could luck out like us and get a car like THIS! Which is the car we got :) Totally wonderfully awesome, yes?
ANYHOW, then I came home and took care of D, went to church & small group on Sunday and started preparing for his party. My little boy is turning two tomorrow! We are having his party this weekend and my father in law is coming - but that is another story entirely.
I made a cupcake cake. I had read about them online and heard about them through friends, and my sister actually had one made for my other sister's birthday not too long ago, so I wanted to attempt to make one myself. Here are my results.
My little boy turns 2! Here is a last look at him at 1, because the next time I post pics of him, he will more than likely be 2 - cause his birthday is tomorrow in case you have forgotten during my ramblings (ok, yes I know that explanation was probably not needed, but I cannot help myself! I think I talk to stupid people too often!).
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Catching up :)
A lot has happened recently! Maybe not monumental excitingness, but a lot for my family just the same.
We got our new couch - and YES it's purple :)! I got a rug too, thank you Tim for the very nice anniversary present!
I also got very pretty anniversary flowers marking the 2nd year of our marriage! Yay Tim! And we went to a VERY nice restaurant for our anniversary dinner - and it was super yummy and ritzy and fancy.
D taught Tim how to play on his bike - and he went along for a ride for extra measure
We've had some fun at McDonalds - these guys are just too cute together aren't they? <3
D has tried to convince us to join him playing in the mud - but he had a lot of fun in it by himself!
We have had fun playing outside...and BOY has it been HOT! I never thought I'd want to go back to the cold...but I'm ready for some cool at least, and so is D! Just look at those cheeks!
My mother-in-law came for a visit and surprised D by getting him the very thing he has been wanting (if an almost 2 year old can tell you such things). He sure enjoys his early birthday present :).
Our little family has had a lot of fun the past few weeks, and I'm looking forward to a busy weekend schedule ahead! Sooooo nice to be home and be able to call the place I am actually living that. We are going to try to trade in our cars for one (keep your fingers crossed!), and we are going to have D's birthday party in a few weeks, we are going to a McNeese game to see my sister, and I am trying to get more involved in the Women's ministry at church...TRYING. We shall see...in the meantime we are having lots of fun enjoying each other on a day to day basis just doing the regular excitingness stuff :).
We got our new couch - and YES it's purple :)! I got a rug too, thank you Tim for the very nice anniversary present!
Thursday, September 8, 2011
So then there was me
My little man is growing up. He is wonderfully exciting and fun to be around, and I love him to pieces. He is excitable and fun loving. He screams and cries and throws random tantrums. I can't seem to wrap my head around the shifts in his moods. Don't get me wrong the shifts always happen for a 'reason'. Like I didn't give him what he wanted to eat, he had to be strapped into the car seat and would much rather roam free, etc. I guess my real problem is trying to find the balance between the Mommy that wants to give him the world and the Mommy that wants him to be a well behaved/balanced little boy instead of a spoiled brat.
I am struggling with this balance....I guess it's because of my father. That sounds like I'm blaming him, doesn't it? Well, I am not. He was a great father, but he always hurt my feelings in his 'discipline.' I was never strong enough, I was overly sensitive, blah blah blah. I don't want to hurt D's feelings, I want him to feel safe and loved, but I want him to have discipline. How do I do that without turning into the very thing I feared in my father for so long?
I pray every day that I am the patient and loving Mommy that D deserves. I want to be kind and loving, and firm and guiding. Sounds easy enough huh? I am so blessed to have been rewarded by having a child, and he's awesome...just trying to find my way to be just as awesome for him :).
I am struggling with this balance....I guess it's because of my father. That sounds like I'm blaming him, doesn't it? Well, I am not. He was a great father, but he always hurt my feelings in his 'discipline.' I was never strong enough, I was overly sensitive, blah blah blah. I don't want to hurt D's feelings, I want him to feel safe and loved, but I want him to have discipline. How do I do that without turning into the very thing I feared in my father for so long?
I pray every day that I am the patient and loving Mommy that D deserves. I want to be kind and loving, and firm and guiding. Sounds easy enough huh? I am so blessed to have been rewarded by having a child, and he's awesome...just trying to find my way to be just as awesome for him :).
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
To Do Lists
I love making lists - everyday at work at the end of the day I make myself a list of things that need to be done the next day. I make lists in my head all the time, it makes things feel more manageable and there's something very satisfactory about checking off something that has been completed on the list. My to do list today is very long, and kind of daunting. I have one for both work and home and here it is:
1. MB - set to pay
2. MB - enter permits
3. Alta - enter permits
4. BC - enter permits
5. BC - attach permits
6. MB - attach permits (1302)
7. Do Craigslist ad - we are selling the truck, or going to attempt to, and I need to get it on there!
8. Register the Civic - Tim got a new car (old, but new to him) to be his everyday drive car so we can attempt to get rid of the truck
9. Wash dishes!!!! - I am starting to loathe going home to my awfully messy kitchen/house
10. Do laundry - have I mentioned my house is an absolute wreck?
11. Buy an office chair for the house - I have rearranged my living area so my old 'office chair' is now a living area chair. It doesn't match, but I will tackle that later.
12. Finish Mom's website - we made great strides last night, and I hope to have it totally done soon!
My list feels overwhelming - and I long to have a clean house and planned meals daily, I just don't know how to get there. Perhaps this week will be the week I get it done!
1. MB - set to pay
2. MB - enter permits
3. Alta - enter permits
4. BC - enter permits
5. BC - attach permits
6. MB - attach permits (1302)
7. Do Craigslist ad - we are selling the truck, or going to attempt to, and I need to get it on there!
8. Register the Civic - Tim got a new car (old, but new to him) to be his everyday drive car so we can attempt to get rid of the truck
9. Wash dishes!!!! - I am starting to loathe going home to my awfully messy kitchen/house
10. Do laundry - have I mentioned my house is an absolute wreck?
11. Buy an office chair for the house - I have rearranged my living area so my old 'office chair' is now a living area chair. It doesn't match, but I will tackle that later.
12. Finish Mom's website - we made great strides last night, and I hope to have it totally done soon!
My list feels overwhelming - and I long to have a clean house and planned meals daily, I just don't know how to get there. Perhaps this week will be the week I get it done!
Monday, August 22, 2011
Sad Days
Life is full of oddities. My Aunt Connie died about 2 weeks ago. I did not feel compelled to go to her funeral. Perhaps that is calloused, but it doesn't really matter to me. I liked her, she was nice and vivacious, but to be truthful she was a bit too much for me. A little too loud, a little too intrusive. I was saddened by her death, mostly for my father and her husband, but I was not overtly moved one way or the other. I thought something was wrong with me, and perhaps there is - but I cannot identify it, so I must move on.
My sister's father in law passed away on Thursday of this past week. This made me sad as well, but sadder than my aunt's passing. I didn't know the man - in fact I had seen him twice ever, but it was much more sudden, and he was so much younger. I don't know if these were the reasons that made me more sad, but these are the facts. I went to his funeral, a funeral of a man I didn't know. I did it because my sister and brother in law were there facing this loss, and I needed to go. I cried at this funeral of a man I didn't know, not for him - but for those he left behind. For my brother in law that now has no father, for my sister trying to support him through this time. Funerals aren't for the dead - they're for the living. I have said this countless times, and it rings true still today. I went to a funeral of a man I barely knew, and cried for the loss of him in my loved ones lives. Perhaps I am not so weird after all? Perhaps that is wishful thinking.
My sister's father in law passed away on Thursday of this past week. This made me sad as well, but sadder than my aunt's passing. I didn't know the man - in fact I had seen him twice ever, but it was much more sudden, and he was so much younger. I don't know if these were the reasons that made me more sad, but these are the facts. I went to his funeral, a funeral of a man I didn't know. I did it because my sister and brother in law were there facing this loss, and I needed to go. I cried at this funeral of a man I didn't know, not for him - but for those he left behind. For my brother in law that now has no father, for my sister trying to support him through this time. Funerals aren't for the dead - they're for the living. I have said this countless times, and it rings true still today. I went to a funeral of a man I barely knew, and cried for the loss of him in my loved ones lives. Perhaps I am not so weird after all? Perhaps that is wishful thinking.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
The Day My Son Ate My Brownie
So I have had an eventful evening/morning. It all started last night. (cue flash back music and the fade into another scene).
Last night we went to dinner with my mom. She graciously picked up my son from daycare and we met her at the restaurant. Then we went home, and started our nightly rituals...(and I watched the movie 'Lemonade Mouth' on the Disney Channel...LOVED IT but I have a penchant for teeny bopper movies and the Disney Channel in general).
Then I realized I couldn't find my cell phone. This is important for several reasons: 1. This is how I wake up, 2. Anyone who knows me, KNOWS I cannot live without my phone. 3. This is how I wake up.
So, I was frantically running around trying to figure out where my phone was - and calling it incessantly. Finally someone answered. Apparently I left it at the restaurant, and had to get there in 10 min in order to retrieve it. SO...i hightailed it over to the restaurant and got it. I got home, and my son was crying - AND I had to pee, btw my husband was already sleeping at this point. So I peed, and then got my son out of his bed. And apparently pee is the reason he woke up too. Apparently he had somehow gotten his diaper off and proceeded to pee all over the bed and himself, and let's face it laying in pee would make anyone cranky. So, I woke up my husband, sponge bathed and changed my son and calmed him down. Meanwhile, my husband was changing the sheets and making the necessary whatevers to the bed - I don't know I didn't ask. So I finally got him back in bed, and it was about 11:30pm. Not too bad, right?
I thought so too! Then I made our lunches (mine and Tim's) because that is how we eat everyday and then I settled down for the night. And started reading, this is my normal routine.
Then my sister texts me, and it was traumatic, but I don't want to share it here, because it is not my story to tell. But because she was having such spotty reception, I ended up staying up until almost 3 to get a sporadic story via texts from her.
Then this morning, I woke up (late as per usual), and took a shower and did my hair and the normal getting ready things. I got Dylan up and did the same. He was in a pretty good mood, actually which was awesome because I am still so so so so tired. Anyhow, he was in a good mood, until we got in the car. Apparently, he is all about my lunch box. He knows I bring food in it, and today he was hungry. So I had to go through everything in my lunch box and he finally settled on my brownie. So I gave it to him, and before you get all excited it was a Fiber One 90 calorie brownie, and let's face it - doughnuts are SO much worse. Then I promptly proceeded to start sneezing my head off. I do not think this is at all in relation to giving D the brownie, but it is an interesting coincidence! And I have been sneezing my head off ever since! It is now almost noon, and if my sneezing fits subside, maybe I'll have a chance to miss my brownie, but probably not - now more than anything I just want a nap!
Last night we went to dinner with my mom. She graciously picked up my son from daycare and we met her at the restaurant. Then we went home, and started our nightly rituals...(and I watched the movie 'Lemonade Mouth' on the Disney Channel...LOVED IT but I have a penchant for teeny bopper movies and the Disney Channel in general).
Then I realized I couldn't find my cell phone. This is important for several reasons: 1. This is how I wake up, 2. Anyone who knows me, KNOWS I cannot live without my phone. 3. This is how I wake up.
So, I was frantically running around trying to figure out where my phone was - and calling it incessantly. Finally someone answered. Apparently I left it at the restaurant, and had to get there in 10 min in order to retrieve it. SO...i hightailed it over to the restaurant and got it. I got home, and my son was crying - AND I had to pee, btw my husband was already sleeping at this point. So I peed, and then got my son out of his bed. And apparently pee is the reason he woke up too. Apparently he had somehow gotten his diaper off and proceeded to pee all over the bed and himself, and let's face it laying in pee would make anyone cranky. So, I woke up my husband, sponge bathed and changed my son and calmed him down. Meanwhile, my husband was changing the sheets and making the necessary whatevers to the bed - I don't know I didn't ask. So I finally got him back in bed, and it was about 11:30pm. Not too bad, right?
I thought so too! Then I made our lunches (mine and Tim's) because that is how we eat everyday and then I settled down for the night. And started reading, this is my normal routine.
Then my sister texts me, and it was traumatic, but I don't want to share it here, because it is not my story to tell. But because she was having such spotty reception, I ended up staying up until almost 3 to get a sporadic story via texts from her.
Then this morning, I woke up (late as per usual), and took a shower and did my hair and the normal getting ready things. I got Dylan up and did the same. He was in a pretty good mood, actually which was awesome because I am still so so so so tired. Anyhow, he was in a good mood, until we got in the car. Apparently, he is all about my lunch box. He knows I bring food in it, and today he was hungry. So I had to go through everything in my lunch box and he finally settled on my brownie. So I gave it to him, and before you get all excited it was a Fiber One 90 calorie brownie, and let's face it - doughnuts are SO much worse. Then I promptly proceeded to start sneezing my head off. I do not think this is at all in relation to giving D the brownie, but it is an interesting coincidence! And I have been sneezing my head off ever since! It is now almost noon, and if my sneezing fits subside, maybe I'll have a chance to miss my brownie, but probably not - now more than anything I just want a nap!
Monday, August 15, 2011
The Purple Couch and Other Randomness
So last week, I think it was last week, I went on and on and on about how much I love THIS couch. So this past Sunday, my husband and I and our almost 2 year old son went to the Ashley Furniture Store in search of the couch. But they didn't have it there. I was majorly deflated by this news.
Did I mention I took my almost 2 year old son with us? Perhaps I should let you know what that was like. It was like running all over the store trying to get him to stop running all over the store, but he thought it was a hilarious game, and did not want to stand still, and WOULD not tolerate being held to the point if you picked him up he would scream bloody murder. Yes, it was lovely, thanks for asking. ANYHOW, I was disappointed that they didn't have my couch, and my husband talked me into walking around and trying to find something else. So we did, and he loved this red couch, and so I agreed and he went to purchase it. I walked outside with my screaming child to spare the customers and employees of Ashley Furniture from having to experience the noise, and to spare myself some embarrassment. Oh who am I kidding? My embarrassment meter is out the door.
THEN, I started having second thoughts. :) So I did what any woman would do who had changed their mind, I texted my husband who was in the store and said : "Me and D are outside, can we get the purple couch instead?" My husband is great, he just said..."Really? LOL, ok" Then the deal was done, and I got the purple couch I have wanted since I laid eyes on it...AND it will be here the 23rd :D. I just hope I love it as much in person!
Did I mention I took my almost 2 year old son with us? Perhaps I should let you know what that was like. It was like running all over the store trying to get him to stop running all over the store, but he thought it was a hilarious game, and did not want to stand still, and WOULD not tolerate being held to the point if you picked him up he would scream bloody murder. Yes, it was lovely, thanks for asking. ANYHOW, I was disappointed that they didn't have my couch, and my husband talked me into walking around and trying to find something else. So we did, and he loved this red couch, and so I agreed and he went to purchase it. I walked outside with my screaming child to spare the customers and employees of Ashley Furniture from having to experience the noise, and to spare myself some embarrassment. Oh who am I kidding? My embarrassment meter is out the door.
THEN, I started having second thoughts. :) So I did what any woman would do who had changed their mind, I texted my husband who was in the store and said : "Me and D are outside, can we get the purple couch instead?" My husband is great, he just said..."Really? LOL, ok" Then the deal was done, and I got the purple couch I have wanted since I laid eyes on it...AND it will be here the 23rd :D. I just hope I love it as much in person!
Friday, August 12, 2011
Please Let Me Be Able to Fix This!
That is my silent prayer today. I hate messing up - at work especially. I feel an unnatural need to do things perfectly, because my family depends on my income. I an constantly afraid something I have done will make me lose my job!
So today, I find out they ordered tax rolls, that I checked out and apparently they do not have the complete sets of information that we need. GRRR. PLEASE let me find out a way to get it without having to pay an arm and a leg - and it can be done quickly!
So this is my struggle today - among other things, and this is why I am praying this prayer over and over again. I want to do my job to the best of my ability, but I mess up - I am just trying to recover from the mess up. Wish me luck!
So today, I find out they ordered tax rolls, that I checked out and apparently they do not have the complete sets of information that we need. GRRR. PLEASE let me find out a way to get it without having to pay an arm and a leg - and it can be done quickly!
So this is my struggle today - among other things, and this is why I am praying this prayer over and over again. I want to do my job to the best of my ability, but I mess up - I am just trying to recover from the mess up. Wish me luck!
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Couches & Stars
So, incase you haven't noticed...I like stars. As in the shape...I'm not so much into the actual thing in the sky defined as :A fixed luminous point in the night sky that is a large, remote incandescent body like the sun. Just so you know what I'm talking about.
I need to redecorate Dylan's room. At the moment it's a conglomeration of things that I had in my old room when I owned that house in Chickasha. It looks half done. So there are western style stars on one wall of his room, and I think he needs more or something different up there. I don't know if he's going to be a western kind of guy. Perhaps I can just find other stars that aren't so westerny to put sporadically in the mix to help change it up. I also want to find his name that I painted right after he was born, it was cute :) and he needs more wall decor.
Also, I want a couch. Like a lot. Its not just that I want a place to sit while I"m watching TV, it's also that I want something to take up space in the middle of my living room so my husband and son are less inclined to dump crap all over the empty space. Good motivation yes? I don't even know if that will help...sadly enough.
So I have been perusing couches, and for some reason I totally love THIS one. I also think THIS one looks awesomely comfortable. Perhaps sometime this weekend I will be able to convince my hubby to go couch shopping with me! :)
I need to redecorate Dylan's room. At the moment it's a conglomeration of things that I had in my old room when I owned that house in Chickasha. It looks half done. So there are western style stars on one wall of his room, and I think he needs more or something different up there. I don't know if he's going to be a western kind of guy. Perhaps I can just find other stars that aren't so westerny to put sporadically in the mix to help change it up. I also want to find his name that I painted right after he was born, it was cute :) and he needs more wall decor.
Also, I want a couch. Like a lot. Its not just that I want a place to sit while I"m watching TV, it's also that I want something to take up space in the middle of my living room so my husband and son are less inclined to dump crap all over the empty space. Good motivation yes? I don't even know if that will help...sadly enough.
So I have been perusing couches, and for some reason I totally love THIS one. I also think THIS one looks awesomely comfortable. Perhaps sometime this weekend I will be able to convince my hubby to go couch shopping with me! :)
Monday, August 8, 2011
Looking Back - to Now
My mom came across some old family photos of us, and it was cool to think back on that time and look forward to where we are now. I've been thinking about it a lot the past couple of days :).
Lets take a look, shall we? I will recap in the condensed version :).
My sister Jarryn: Now she is a Junior in college, majoring in physical training or some such medical thing. She got a scholarship to McNeese University in Lake Charles, LA to be a trainer for their sports program. In the family photo she is probably 3ish, a lot has happened in her life since then...now she's 20. She loves family, and friends, and going to the movies, the color green, and her sorority - and of course training.
My sister Joelle: She is now working for the Houston Rockets, and has been married almost 2 years. In the picture she was about 8. Since then, she's graduated from High School, and U of H for college, she's gotten married and started her profession as a wonderful member of the sales team for the Rockets. She actually won a rookie award for the most sales in the NBA last year! She loves traveling, being active, swimming and giving swim lessons, playing 42, the Dallas Cowboys and of course the Rockets - who are also her husband's all time favorite team by the way.
My Mom: She is now working for Mayde Creek High School as an 11th grade US AP history teacher, and she's awesome at it :). She also does a lot of teacher training, and is sought after all over the USA, and spends much of her summer 'vacation' traipsing around training other teachers. Since this picture, which was approximately 17 years ago, she has gone through a cancer battle, moved to a new city - started a new job, and is still a member of the praise team at church. She loves to read, and watch musicals, visit with her children and Dylan, and see new places that have influenced her heritage.
My Dad: Is now working for a seismic company, and is very good at selling data across the US. He is working for Geokinetics, and is no longer self-employed. Since this picture, he has lost several siblings, and has gone through his own near death experience, and is forever changed by it. He enjoys singing, golfing, and golf tv, and golfing, and his children. He was a great rock for our family and remains this still.
Me: Well in this picture I was about 13, and since then I have done much. Some to be proud of, and some I have learned from. I graduated HS, and College, and got married and had a child. I now enjoy reading (still...always), music, playing games, watching musicals/movies, and hanging out with friends and family.
In a nutshell, I guess my family has grown up, and we have experienced several things that have made us grow closer as a family. It's fun to see what we we looked like then, with great expectations, and figure out whether or not those expectations were realized.
Lets take a look, shall we? I will recap in the condensed version :).
My sister Jarryn: Now she is a Junior in college, majoring in physical training or some such medical thing. She got a scholarship to McNeese University in Lake Charles, LA to be a trainer for their sports program. In the family photo she is probably 3ish, a lot has happened in her life since then...now she's 20. She loves family, and friends, and going to the movies, the color green, and her sorority - and of course training.
My sister Joelle: She is now working for the Houston Rockets, and has been married almost 2 years. In the picture she was about 8. Since then, she's graduated from High School, and U of H for college, she's gotten married and started her profession as a wonderful member of the sales team for the Rockets. She actually won a rookie award for the most sales in the NBA last year! She loves traveling, being active, swimming and giving swim lessons, playing 42, the Dallas Cowboys and of course the Rockets - who are also her husband's all time favorite team by the way.
My Mom: She is now working for Mayde Creek High School as an 11th grade US AP history teacher, and she's awesome at it :). She also does a lot of teacher training, and is sought after all over the USA, and spends much of her summer 'vacation' traipsing around training other teachers. Since this picture, which was approximately 17 years ago, she has gone through a cancer battle, moved to a new city - started a new job, and is still a member of the praise team at church. She loves to read, and watch musicals, visit with her children and Dylan, and see new places that have influenced her heritage.
My Dad: Is now working for a seismic company, and is very good at selling data across the US. He is working for Geokinetics, and is no longer self-employed. Since this picture, he has lost several siblings, and has gone through his own near death experience, and is forever changed by it. He enjoys singing, golfing, and golf tv, and golfing, and his children. He was a great rock for our family and remains this still.
Me: Well in this picture I was about 13, and since then I have done much. Some to be proud of, and some I have learned from. I graduated HS, and College, and got married and had a child. I now enjoy reading (still...always), music, playing games, watching musicals/movies, and hanging out with friends and family.
In a nutshell, I guess my family has grown up, and we have experienced several things that have made us grow closer as a family. It's fun to see what we we looked like then, with great expectations, and figure out whether or not those expectations were realized.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Sad Remembering
Today I was reminded of a time in my life that I haven't thought of in a very long time. I was only 8 years old, but I remember the day clearly, and because it's on my mind now, you get to read about it :).
I was at my Grandma's house, because that's where I went everyday after school. I was outside playing with a friend that lived around the corner (her name was Brianna). We had a lot of fun together, as we often did, and as per usual her sister came to get her to come home. Except this day her sister, who was in Jr. High I believe, was crying. She was almost in hysterics. I didn't understand why or the severity of what her words meant then, and probably didn't for a long while afterwards. In fact, even today it touched new heartstrings and made me think of things I hadn't before.
All she said was "There was an accident, and I don't know what happened to some of my friends."
Now, in the days after this we had an assembly at school, and moments of silence in remembrance. There was a huge memorial service.
21 children died due to that 'accident'.
A Dr. Pepper truck ran a stop sign and hit a school bus, that went into a caliche pit, submerged in water. 18 children died the day of the accident, and 3 more followed behind.
Thinking about this accident makes me so incredibly sad, thinking about the distress all these parents of these children went through...waiting to see if their children were one of the ones who died...the agony they felt when they were told they would never see them grow up. It's awful.
Then I think about a song I had heard not so long after one of the anniversaries of this accident. It is kinda hokey sounding and not exactly directly correlated, but the message was comforting. It made me remember my faith, and how we are always held in HIS hands. That in everything we have gone through and have yet to experience we have a guiding light, a stronghold if we accept it. The song has always been close to my heart, not just because of this particular tragedy...but that's another story for another time. Here it is.
This whole thing just to say,
I remember.
I was at my Grandma's house, because that's where I went everyday after school. I was outside playing with a friend that lived around the corner (her name was Brianna). We had a lot of fun together, as we often did, and as per usual her sister came to get her to come home. Except this day her sister, who was in Jr. High I believe, was crying. She was almost in hysterics. I didn't understand why or the severity of what her words meant then, and probably didn't for a long while afterwards. In fact, even today it touched new heartstrings and made me think of things I hadn't before.
All she said was "There was an accident, and I don't know what happened to some of my friends."
Now, in the days after this we had an assembly at school, and moments of silence in remembrance. There was a huge memorial service.
21 children died due to that 'accident'.
A Dr. Pepper truck ran a stop sign and hit a school bus, that went into a caliche pit, submerged in water. 18 children died the day of the accident, and 3 more followed behind.
Thinking about this accident makes me so incredibly sad, thinking about the distress all these parents of these children went through...waiting to see if their children were one of the ones who died...the agony they felt when they were told they would never see them grow up. It's awful.
Then I think about a song I had heard not so long after one of the anniversaries of this accident. It is kinda hokey sounding and not exactly directly correlated, but the message was comforting. It made me remember my faith, and how we are always held in HIS hands. That in everything we have gone through and have yet to experience we have a guiding light, a stronghold if we accept it. The song has always been close to my heart, not just because of this particular tragedy...but that's another story for another time. Here it is.
This whole thing just to say,
I remember.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Half Done
So I have tons of stuff on my To Do List (and yes, I actually make this list and keep it updated). Currently on my list is :
1. FINISH MOM'S WEBSITE!!!! - Yes it's written just like that...and the website is for her AP program at school, she's super involved in it and wants to get kids on board with taking AP classes. If you are interested the work in progress looks like THIS.
2. Find a couch - My sisters best friend has graciously offered to give me one of her cast off couches, and I have no idea what it looks like, but it would be exciting just to have a couch. Maybe in the future I'll buy the one I want. Something neutral, kid friendly, and comfy that isn't ugly.
3. Finish unpacking - I have been in my apartment since the end of March and I still haven't unpacked or put away everything or made it pretty the way I want - hopefully that is coming soon...THEN I will post pics to my adoring fans :) (or the couple of people that actually look at my blog occasionally :)).
4. Tag Tim's Truck - uhh...this truck is a pain, and we need to get it tagged so we can hopefully sell it, and we haven't tagged it yet because we don't have the money to do so.
5. Buy some kind of organizer for D's room - this boy has toys EVERYWHERE, and I am hoping some kind of place to put them will help him with his need to have everything in it's place. :)
6. Go to the store and buy an organizer for work, a planner for work, and a scale - so I have recently gone on a diet, but I have no idea what kind of progress I am making, because I do not own a scale. The stuff for work I am hoping will make me more organized :).
7. Send out D's Pictures - So Dylan got his school pictures done in May, and I have yet to send them to anyone, I know I'm awful.
8. Buy Christmas Cards - So this is a weird one maybe, because it is August, but I love Christmas, and I love giving and receiving cards it makes me feel cheery, and it takes me a while to find ones that I love.
9. Get a loan for a new car - If Tim's truck doesn't sell this is my next step, to trade in both vehicles for one car.
10. Get D's hair cut - it's that time again, he needs one!
So maybe this isn't an overly long list, but this doesn't include my day to day stuff...it's just the extra that I need to get done. Kinda a pain. THEN, my friend introduced me to this really cool website that I'm excited about putting down my ideas on...perhaps I will get inspired to finish decorating my house :)!
1. FINISH MOM'S WEBSITE!!!! - Yes it's written just like that...and the website is for her AP program at school, she's super involved in it and wants to get kids on board with taking AP classes. If you are interested the work in progress looks like THIS.
2. Find a couch - My sisters best friend has graciously offered to give me one of her cast off couches, and I have no idea what it looks like, but it would be exciting just to have a couch. Maybe in the future I'll buy the one I want. Something neutral, kid friendly, and comfy that isn't ugly.
3. Finish unpacking - I have been in my apartment since the end of March and I still haven't unpacked or put away everything or made it pretty the way I want - hopefully that is coming soon...THEN I will post pics to my adoring fans :) (or the couple of people that actually look at my blog occasionally :)).
4. Tag Tim's Truck - uhh...this truck is a pain, and we need to get it tagged so we can hopefully sell it, and we haven't tagged it yet because we don't have the money to do so.
5. Buy some kind of organizer for D's room - this boy has toys EVERYWHERE, and I am hoping some kind of place to put them will help him with his need to have everything in it's place. :)
6. Go to the store and buy an organizer for work, a planner for work, and a scale - so I have recently gone on a diet, but I have no idea what kind of progress I am making, because I do not own a scale. The stuff for work I am hoping will make me more organized :).
7. Send out D's Pictures - So Dylan got his school pictures done in May, and I have yet to send them to anyone, I know I'm awful.
8. Buy Christmas Cards - So this is a weird one maybe, because it is August, but I love Christmas, and I love giving and receiving cards it makes me feel cheery, and it takes me a while to find ones that I love.
9. Get a loan for a new car - If Tim's truck doesn't sell this is my next step, to trade in both vehicles for one car.
10. Get D's hair cut - it's that time again, he needs one!
So maybe this isn't an overly long list, but this doesn't include my day to day stuff...it's just the extra that I need to get done. Kinda a pain. THEN, my friend introduced me to this really cool website that I'm excited about putting down my ideas on...perhaps I will get inspired to finish decorating my house :)!
Friday, July 29, 2011
Party Theme!
So I have determined what D's party theme will be. With help from friends and family and of course taking into account my little man's own preferences I have come up with theme 'Under Construction'. Dylan loves all things having to do with cars and trucks and dump trucks, so I thought this would be a fun play on the things he likes :).
A reccommendation of party city and a link from a friend showed me there were TONS of stuff I could purchase for the party. I love THIS pinata and think it will be a fun semi organized game maybe even 2 year olds can handle. I was also thinking about filling a plastic pool from Walmart or the like with dirt and getting some trucks like THESE for the kids to play with in the pool/dirt outside whateverness.
As far as food goes, I haven't quite decided yet. I'm debating between pizza, hotdogs or chicken nuggets. What do you think? All three of these are a favorite of D's. Cupcakes are a must, they went over so well last year...but haven't finalized the ideas on those. And of course we will have balls and bubbles, because these are essential for D to play outside. No balloons or streamers or fancy decorations. I will probably get a solid colored plastic table cover that I can tape to an outdoor table, and get some special underconstruction napkins or cups and plates to complete the party decor. What do you think? Not necessarily fantastically creative, but I think it encompasses Dylan and things he likes to do.
A reccommendation of party city and a link from a friend showed me there were TONS of stuff I could purchase for the party. I love THIS pinata and think it will be a fun semi organized game maybe even 2 year olds can handle. I was also thinking about filling a plastic pool from Walmart or the like with dirt and getting some trucks like THESE for the kids to play with in the pool/dirt outside whateverness.
As far as food goes, I haven't quite decided yet. I'm debating between pizza, hotdogs or chicken nuggets. What do you think? All three of these are a favorite of D's. Cupcakes are a must, they went over so well last year...but haven't finalized the ideas on those. And of course we will have balls and bubbles, because these are essential for D to play outside. No balloons or streamers or fancy decorations. I will probably get a solid colored plastic table cover that I can tape to an outdoor table, and get some special underconstruction napkins or cups and plates to complete the party decor. What do you think? Not necessarily fantastically creative, but I think it encompasses Dylan and things he likes to do.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Shopping and The Used To Be Friend
So, I want to go shopping. And for the first time since we have lived in Katy (yes I know it hasn't been that long...but money and the strain of not having enough has been a burden Tim and I have carried since before Dylan was born) I can actually go shopping and buy some stuff for myself. Ok, maybe not today, but because I sold my stock (that makes me feel so grown up and important to say) we have enough and some left over for some new clothes!
I am thinking some fun new flats are in order, and some jeans. :) AND tax free weekend is just around the corner! YAY! Ok, I'm done being excited about going shopping.
I know I have wrote on here before in years past about my friend that is not my friend, and is sick. That is confusing yes? Well, ok, here's the deal. I used to have a best friend, and she was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, which sucked, but we were still fine and I was determined to be a rock for her. Then she got pregnant, had a baby, pushed herself too far, and pushed everyone away...including me. I stuck it out, knowing that one day my friend would be back...but here it is almost 6 years later...and she's still not back. Because I need closure, and maybe I have this affinity to get the last word in? I don't know...anyhow, I emailed her. She never has time enough to actually talk to me on the phone anymore, and I just wanted to get something off my chest and then move on. It's almost as if I needed physical closure, to be able to actually see the words to let go. I have talked about letting go...I have screamed and cried and been angry, but I have never actually done it. I guess part of me wanted her to tell me she wanted to be my friend again, and the majority of myself didn't want to lose what we used to have.
But somehow I have grown up in the past couple of years. I have gotten married, I have had a baby, I have come face to face with my shortcomings and mistakes, and admitted I wasn't big enough to take them on. I feel like I'm different, and I don't need her anymore. That may sound petty, but I used to need her. She was like a security blanket for me, and I held on to that and depended on it way too much.
So anyhow, I emailed her, and YES I'm going to post the whole email here...incase you were wondering. I included with it an email she wrote me, that I had saved. That email she wrote me was years ago, when she was at the bottom of the bottom. She hurt my feelings, she pushed me away, she called me shitty pretty much. I included it so she could remember what we had been through together, and so she knew when I felt like our relationship was forever changed. The message of the email I wrote was 'So you remember, and good luck':
You wrote me this email when you were sick years ago - I still feel like our friendship isn't where it was and you have never gone back to being my friend (this was when hope was a little over a year old) - I don't know if will ever be. The more I think about it - the more I feel like I walked away from our friendship, because I was tired of being hurt. Not given up, just shut it out for a while. You aren't my friend. Not like you used to be. You aren't the person I want to tell everything to anymore, you're not the person who tells me everything. You aren't the person that knows me best - if you even know me at all anymore. I know your life is always full of drama, and you always have some excuse for not talking to me - just know I don't care to hear the excuses anymore, I want action. Perhaps one day when you have time for me, we can be friends like we were before - but if not, it's ok. I don't even know why I'm bothering to tell you anything - it never seems to change anything anyhow - AND to be completely honest, I don't know if I care if it does or not. Good luck with your family and your new baby on the way. Wishing you health and happiness.
Ok, so rereading that, maybe it isn't as much 'closure' as I thought, but I felt it. Like I was finally closing that chapter in my life. Like it didn't matter if she called me back today or in a week, or ever at all. Writing that email was cathartic for me, and it helped me say goodbye, I am not bitter that our friendship didn't work out - I understand people can grow apart and go different ways, good luck. Do you think I conveyed that?
Regardless, I feel that I am in a better place, and if she called me tomorrow, I would talk to her...but it wouldn't be like it used to be, and I wouldn't expect that from her either anymore. I am not shutting her out of my life, I am just no longer reaching out continuously. I think I have learned a lot about myself the past couple of years, and one of the things I've learned, is that I can live without her - more than live, and everything will be just fine.
I am thinking some fun new flats are in order, and some jeans. :) AND tax free weekend is just around the corner! YAY! Ok, I'm done being excited about going shopping.
I know I have wrote on here before in years past about my friend that is not my friend, and is sick. That is confusing yes? Well, ok, here's the deal. I used to have a best friend, and she was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, which sucked, but we were still fine and I was determined to be a rock for her. Then she got pregnant, had a baby, pushed herself too far, and pushed everyone away...including me. I stuck it out, knowing that one day my friend would be back...but here it is almost 6 years later...and she's still not back. Because I need closure, and maybe I have this affinity to get the last word in? I don't know...anyhow, I emailed her. She never has time enough to actually talk to me on the phone anymore, and I just wanted to get something off my chest and then move on. It's almost as if I needed physical closure, to be able to actually see the words to let go. I have talked about letting go...I have screamed and cried and been angry, but I have never actually done it. I guess part of me wanted her to tell me she wanted to be my friend again, and the majority of myself didn't want to lose what we used to have.
But somehow I have grown up in the past couple of years. I have gotten married, I have had a baby, I have come face to face with my shortcomings and mistakes, and admitted I wasn't big enough to take them on. I feel like I'm different, and I don't need her anymore. That may sound petty, but I used to need her. She was like a security blanket for me, and I held on to that and depended on it way too much.
So anyhow, I emailed her, and YES I'm going to post the whole email here...incase you were wondering. I included with it an email she wrote me, that I had saved. That email she wrote me was years ago, when she was at the bottom of the bottom. She hurt my feelings, she pushed me away, she called me shitty pretty much. I included it so she could remember what we had been through together, and so she knew when I felt like our relationship was forever changed. The message of the email I wrote was 'So you remember, and good luck':
You wrote me this email when you were sick years ago - I still feel like our friendship isn't where it was and you have never gone back to being my friend (this was when hope was a little over a year old) - I don't know if will ever be. The more I think about it - the more I feel like I walked away from our friendship, because I was tired of being hurt. Not given up, just shut it out for a while. You aren't my friend. Not like you used to be. You aren't the person I want to tell everything to anymore, you're not the person who tells me everything. You aren't the person that knows me best - if you even know me at all anymore. I know your life is always full of drama, and you always have some excuse for not talking to me - just know I don't care to hear the excuses anymore, I want action. Perhaps one day when you have time for me, we can be friends like we were before - but if not, it's ok. I don't even know why I'm bothering to tell you anything - it never seems to change anything anyhow - AND to be completely honest, I don't know if I care if it does or not. Good luck with your family and your new baby on the way. Wishing you health and happiness.
Ok, so rereading that, maybe it isn't as much 'closure' as I thought, but I felt it. Like I was finally closing that chapter in my life. Like it didn't matter if she called me back today or in a week, or ever at all. Writing that email was cathartic for me, and it helped me say goodbye, I am not bitter that our friendship didn't work out - I understand people can grow apart and go different ways, good luck. Do you think I conveyed that?
Regardless, I feel that I am in a better place, and if she called me tomorrow, I would talk to her...but it wouldn't be like it used to be, and I wouldn't expect that from her either anymore. I am not shutting her out of my life, I am just no longer reaching out continuously. I think I have learned a lot about myself the past couple of years, and one of the things I've learned, is that I can live without her - more than live, and everything will be just fine.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Itching For Something New
I have been feeling a little restless in my everyday life here lately. Not exactly sure why, because heaven knows I have enough to do in a day to keep myself occupied. I mean, I know tons of people have it worse off than me and have more things to do than myself, and I have tons to be grateful for...but I do have a lot to do:
My daily life:
1. Get up - and OMG I'm SOOOOOOOO bad at this one, I always press snooze like five million times before I actually sit up.
2. Get Ready - not the best at this one either, but fashion and general making myself look put together has never been a strong suit - it was much easier when I was in high school, and didn't have to look like an adult!
3. Get Dylan's cup - this one is EXTREMELY important, as first thing in the morning he wants a drink in a big way, and if you fail to do this step, life will not be pleasant until it is rectified - amazing how my child has trained me so well.
4. Get Dylan's Clothes ready - pretty self explanatory, but I will say he has a much easier selection to put together.
5. Get the diaper - cause lets face it, dirty diapers are a reality.
6. Get the D! - love this part, because he gives me a kiss and then proceeds to take a drink of the cup he has trained me to fetch for him.
7. Get him dressed - Yes, he is still holding his cup at this point :).
8. Gather all my crap and leave - this crap consists of whatever I brought home to work on the night before, occasionally diapers/wipes/extra clothes/swim suit for Dylan for his daycare, my purse, my phone - this is EXTREMELY important, my lunch bag, and of course Dylan - did I mention that he has trained me well?
9. Drive to Dylan's school - uneventful :)
10. Drop him off - on a side note he never says bye to me, and this is bothersome.
11. Drive to the Gas Station - and there I proceed to buy the largest Diet Coke I can possibly find, and yes I do this every morning.
12. Drive to work - this is boring, but my sister in law has been nice enough to talk to me on the way to make it not so boring :)
13. Work - while this isn't generally boring, it is never the same, and thus hard to create a synopsis for :).
14. Drive home - again talking to people and accomplishing the odds and ends calls you have to make in your life, because they don't seem to call you.
15. Pick up Dylan - this is mostly fun, but sometimes Dylan is incredibly whiny. He is incredibly happy to see me :).
16. Give D a snack - have I mentioned that I am well trained?
17. Gather my crap and go upstairs - see aforementioned crap for the list.
18. Find Dinner - I say find, because sometimes this doesn't include actually cooking.
19. Eat
20. Give D a bath - he enjoys this, and it gives me a little time to relax :)
21. Play with D a bit - this includes playing with cars, or reading books, or any number of things :).
21a. Tim puts D to bed - I put this in here just in case you wonder why D isn't sleeping! I never put him in the bed, I can't handle the crying.
22. Attempt to do some cleaning - this can include, but hasn't yet, the massive pile of both clean and dirty clothes that I have yet to address, or the kitchen or whatever.
23. Relax! - watching tv, reading, farmville, playing random card/domino games with Tim :)...oooh and maybe a glass of wine :D. (I found this really great one I like, and that is exciting to me and makes me feel fancy...just saying).
24. Shower - yes I do get clean at least once a day :).
25. Read - I love to read...and I do so every night!
26. Sleep - yay! And this is usually between 11:30 and 12:00am.
WHEW! I have no idea why I felt the need to list my day for you all, but I did, and it was a lot of work so I'm not deleting it, feel free to bypass the list all together.
I think I want a new fashion style, or hair style or something. I decided that I am looking boring lately. And maybe that stems from having a routine, I am SO not used to having one of those. I feel the need to dye my hair pink or purple or get some fun and funky new clothes. The problem with this is - I have no idea what! Ok maybe there is two problems, the second is I am not that great with the whole fashion/makeup/hairstyle thing (see 2 on the list).
What do you think about THIS hairstyle? Obviously this is not pink or purple or anything overly funky, but it is maybe something I can do at home. THIS is totally fun! Isn't it? Maybe with just pink and purple...:). And I'm thinking some new fun flats :), I can totally buy shoes! THESE might be on the agenda!
All this nonsensical ramblings just to say - I am not used to having a routine, and after years of hoping, wishing and praying for one, I have a home - a routine - a 'normal' life, and I feel bitter that I am feeling the need for some kind of makeover. I mean, I have wanted this for a long time! I am upset at myself for wanting more, because my dream of being in one place is now a reality. But maybe I'm being too hard on myself? I was a gypsy for a long time, and it's hard to go from one extreme to another. Maybe just a little personal change, instead of physical location change...:) I think I can handle that!
My daily life:
1. Get up - and OMG I'm SOOOOOOOO bad at this one, I always press snooze like five million times before I actually sit up.
2. Get Ready - not the best at this one either, but fashion and general making myself look put together has never been a strong suit - it was much easier when I was in high school, and didn't have to look like an adult!
3. Get Dylan's cup - this one is EXTREMELY important, as first thing in the morning he wants a drink in a big way, and if you fail to do this step, life will not be pleasant until it is rectified - amazing how my child has trained me so well.
4. Get Dylan's Clothes ready - pretty self explanatory, but I will say he has a much easier selection to put together.
5. Get the diaper - cause lets face it, dirty diapers are a reality.
6. Get the D! - love this part, because he gives me a kiss and then proceeds to take a drink of the cup he has trained me to fetch for him.
7. Get him dressed - Yes, he is still holding his cup at this point :).
8. Gather all my crap and leave - this crap consists of whatever I brought home to work on the night before, occasionally diapers/wipes/extra clothes/swim suit for Dylan for his daycare, my purse, my phone - this is EXTREMELY important, my lunch bag, and of course Dylan - did I mention that he has trained me well?
9. Drive to Dylan's school - uneventful :)
10. Drop him off - on a side note he never says bye to me, and this is bothersome.
11. Drive to the Gas Station - and there I proceed to buy the largest Diet Coke I can possibly find, and yes I do this every morning.
12. Drive to work - this is boring, but my sister in law has been nice enough to talk to me on the way to make it not so boring :)
13. Work - while this isn't generally boring, it is never the same, and thus hard to create a synopsis for :).
14. Drive home - again talking to people and accomplishing the odds and ends calls you have to make in your life, because they don't seem to call you.
15. Pick up Dylan - this is mostly fun, but sometimes Dylan is incredibly whiny. He is incredibly happy to see me :).
16. Give D a snack - have I mentioned that I am well trained?
17. Gather my crap and go upstairs - see aforementioned crap for the list.
18. Find Dinner - I say find, because sometimes this doesn't include actually cooking.
19. Eat
20. Give D a bath - he enjoys this, and it gives me a little time to relax :)
21. Play with D a bit - this includes playing with cars, or reading books, or any number of things :).
21a. Tim puts D to bed - I put this in here just in case you wonder why D isn't sleeping! I never put him in the bed, I can't handle the crying.
22. Attempt to do some cleaning - this can include, but hasn't yet, the massive pile of both clean and dirty clothes that I have yet to address, or the kitchen or whatever.
23. Relax! - watching tv, reading, farmville, playing random card/domino games with Tim :)...oooh and maybe a glass of wine :D. (I found this really great one I like, and that is exciting to me and makes me feel fancy...just saying).
24. Shower - yes I do get clean at least once a day :).
25. Read - I love to read...and I do so every night!
26. Sleep - yay! And this is usually between 11:30 and 12:00am.
WHEW! I have no idea why I felt the need to list my day for you all, but I did, and it was a lot of work so I'm not deleting it, feel free to bypass the list all together.
I think I want a new fashion style, or hair style or something. I decided that I am looking boring lately. And maybe that stems from having a routine, I am SO not used to having one of those. I feel the need to dye my hair pink or purple or get some fun and funky new clothes. The problem with this is - I have no idea what! Ok maybe there is two problems, the second is I am not that great with the whole fashion/makeup/hairstyle thing (see 2 on the list).
What do you think about THIS hairstyle? Obviously this is not pink or purple or anything overly funky, but it is maybe something I can do at home. THIS is totally fun! Isn't it? Maybe with just pink and purple...:). And I'm thinking some new fun flats :), I can totally buy shoes! THESE might be on the agenda!
All this nonsensical ramblings just to say - I am not used to having a routine, and after years of hoping, wishing and praying for one, I have a home - a routine - a 'normal' life, and I feel bitter that I am feeling the need for some kind of makeover. I mean, I have wanted this for a long time! I am upset at myself for wanting more, because my dream of being in one place is now a reality. But maybe I'm being too hard on myself? I was a gypsy for a long time, and it's hard to go from one extreme to another. Maybe just a little personal change, instead of physical location change...:) I think I can handle that!
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Parties-Work-Parties and Whatever Other Randomness I can Come up with
So my friend had what looked like a terrific party for her son last weekend, and it has inspired me to start thinking about Dylan's birthday party! But I am uninspired....I have NO idea what to do for a kid that is turning two while we are living in an apartment. Everything that you can go to like the jump houses or chuckeecheese either seem too old, too expensive, or too generic.
I could have a pool party at our apartment pool...but is the end of September a good time to be swimming? Alas I have no idea...I will continue to brainstorm - and am welcoming all ideas on this front.
I am playing catch up today at work - funny isn't it? I am blogging instead of catching up! Oh well, it has waited this long it can wait a few more minutes. Anyhow, during my mundane catching up at work thing I have been thinking about life. Don't worry, I am not going to get philisophical - just thinking about boring things like what to serve for dinner, and the fact that I sold my stock yesterday and wonder when that check will come in, and that diapers are so freaking expensive - and perhaps I should invest in one of those companies, and when are we going to get Tim's car out of the shop - because I am tired of paying for a rental. AND, I have been throwing royal pity parties for myself and really need to stop that.
Yes, I have been acting like I am 2. I get all bent out of shape for NO apparent reason - or even if I have a reason, I am overreacting. I am starting to get on my own nerves. So, I am vowing on my blog, with my vast audience of 1 or 2 people as a witness, to try harder to not get so pissy - I'll keep you posted.
So, I have also been thinking about a new car! We are going to consolidate to one vehicle instead of two and trade in both of our cars for one car. Any ideas? My husband wants to get this car, and I don't know how I feel about it. This is going to be MY car not his! Maybe I'm just being pissy again. Anyone else have any ideas? Something gas friendly prefered!
I think I succeeded in all over the map on this one :) I hope everyone else followed my disconnected thought process!
I could have a pool party at our apartment pool...but is the end of September a good time to be swimming? Alas I have no idea...I will continue to brainstorm - and am welcoming all ideas on this front.
I am playing catch up today at work - funny isn't it? I am blogging instead of catching up! Oh well, it has waited this long it can wait a few more minutes. Anyhow, during my mundane catching up at work thing I have been thinking about life. Don't worry, I am not going to get philisophical - just thinking about boring things like what to serve for dinner, and the fact that I sold my stock yesterday and wonder when that check will come in, and that diapers are so freaking expensive - and perhaps I should invest in one of those companies, and when are we going to get Tim's car out of the shop - because I am tired of paying for a rental. AND, I have been throwing royal pity parties for myself and really need to stop that.
Yes, I have been acting like I am 2. I get all bent out of shape for NO apparent reason - or even if I have a reason, I am overreacting. I am starting to get on my own nerves. So, I am vowing on my blog, with my vast audience of 1 or 2 people as a witness, to try harder to not get so pissy - I'll keep you posted.
So, I have also been thinking about a new car! We are going to consolidate to one vehicle instead of two and trade in both of our cars for one car. Any ideas? My husband wants to get this car, and I don't know how I feel about it. This is going to be MY car not his! Maybe I'm just being pissy again. Anyone else have any ideas? Something gas friendly prefered!
I think I succeeded in all over the map on this one :) I hope everyone else followed my disconnected thought process!
Monday, July 25, 2011
Finally Able to Breathe!
So I made the call.
This weekend I met with my sister and her husband, who is also an accountant, and went over our bills/budget. It was painful and invasive, but it needed to be done. We needed some help! We figured out that my Devon job was not even available for consideration given the money we are obligated to every month right now. So that made the decision clear - I have to stay where I am. I am a bit sad about it, but mostly just fine. It would have been nice working for an awesome company like Devon - but it's a whole lot nicer to have food and gas for the cars.
This morning I called Devon to tell them that I couldn't come work for them. The lady, as everyone I have ever talked to there has been, was incredibly nice and said that I need to make the decision that's best for my family, and she understands it is just business. I feel better already!
This weekend I met with my sister and her husband, who is also an accountant, and went over our bills/budget. It was painful and invasive, but it needed to be done. We needed some help! We figured out that my Devon job was not even available for consideration given the money we are obligated to every month right now. So that made the decision clear - I have to stay where I am. I am a bit sad about it, but mostly just fine. It would have been nice working for an awesome company like Devon - but it's a whole lot nicer to have food and gas for the cars.
This morning I called Devon to tell them that I couldn't come work for them. The lady, as everyone I have ever talked to there has been, was incredibly nice and said that I need to make the decision that's best for my family, and she understands it is just business. I feel better already!
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
The Job Pull
So about 4 months ago I was frantically trying to get a job - because the one I was offered was turned down. Now I'm trying to figure out how to set boundaries for myself in my current job, and how to turn down an offer from an incredible company, AND send out resumes to more companies because apparently I'm pretty popular at the moment.
Amazing how much time can change your situation.
I don't know how to tell the amazing company that I'm going to pass on their offer - I don't even know if that is the best decision! I have weighed the pros and cons, and I don't know what the 'right' answer is. But I think I know what the 'right now' answer is...but uncertainty is heavy! How you make decisions like that without your head exploding is beyond me - and suggestions are more than welcome!
So now, I am awaiting my offer from the 'big dog' because who doesn't want to work for a big dog in their field? I mean it would like working for a mom & pop computer shop, and Apple gives you a call and says they want you! Fabulous - I hope I have that feeling one day! So I'm waiting, and trying to figure out how to break it off with a company...that part kind of sucks.
Amazing how much time can change your situation.
I don't know how to tell the amazing company that I'm going to pass on their offer - I don't even know if that is the best decision! I have weighed the pros and cons, and I don't know what the 'right' answer is. But I think I know what the 'right now' answer is...but uncertainty is heavy! How you make decisions like that without your head exploding is beyond me - and suggestions are more than welcome!
So now, I am awaiting my offer from the 'big dog' because who doesn't want to work for a big dog in their field? I mean it would like working for a mom & pop computer shop, and Apple gives you a call and says they want you! Fabulous - I hope I have that feeling one day! So I'm waiting, and trying to figure out how to break it off with a company...that part kind of sucks.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
I
I've seen this on a few other blogs before, and thought I'd try it too...
I am....restless, needy, loved, cherished
I have....a life full of endless possibilities, and a fabulous husband, son and apartment too
I want....security
I fear....I will never find a place I fit outside my home and family.
I would....love to make my money problems cease to exist
I don't....exercise like I should
I did....quit my job, and it felt pretty good.
I didn't....have a plan on how life was going to work after the job was no more.
I will....go on a vacation with just me and my husband - take our honeymoon.
I won't....do the dishes unless I absolutely have to
I can....do artistic things - I'm pretty good at flower arrangements and all things crafty, surprisingly.
I can't....become bogged down by the pressures and stresses in life
I could....go for a nice drink with good friends.
I couldn't....be apart from my family, so we made the decision for us to not travel anymore.
I always....carry my cell phone - even if it is dead.
I never....have been to Washington DC, but I have always wanted to go!
I hate....when people won't let me do the job I was hired for.
I believe....that boredom is a state of mind.
I imagine....all the time, I love to let my mind wonder.
I regret....not getting married in a church, and having pictures taken, and a lovely honeymoon - but only part of me, the other part wonders why people normally spend so much on one day and that part of me also wonders if I should have experienced it for myself.
I speak....often, but sometimes I still feel unheard.
I sing....not as often as I used to, and I miss it.
I write....in my brain a lot, but it rarely makes it onto something for others to see.
I enjoy....spending time with my mom - the older I get the more I love doing it.
I eat....the outside of a kit kat bar first
I drink....tea - I don't know why, but I love it.
I like....sparkly flats and my favorite blue jeans, and playing silly games on the computer.
I wish....we would win the lottery and never have to worry about money and my family would be taken care of forever.
I hope....and I am learning how to build my hope on Jesus and His salvation - it has been a long road for me.
I remember....life before Dylan, and Life after
I enjoy....sleeping,reading, musicals, shopping, and spending time with Tim & D
I miss....sleeping in!
I feel....lucky :).
I work....a lot, but I am grateful because it is not fun to not have a job
I dream....of owning a house and having another child
I see....everything moving so fast.
I hear....my son crying at night these days - I think he's having nightmares :(
I know....that my life has a Divine compass, and all I need to do is follow it.
I love....good friends, hot chocolate, diet coke, shopping, going to a musical, enjoying movies with my husband and playing with my son
I am....an oxymoron, complicated, simple, ever evolving.
I am....restless, needy, loved, cherished
I have....a life full of endless possibilities, and a fabulous husband, son and apartment too
I want....security
I fear....I will never find a place I fit outside my home and family.
I would....love to make my money problems cease to exist
I don't....exercise like I should
I did....quit my job, and it felt pretty good.
I didn't....have a plan on how life was going to work after the job was no more.
I will....go on a vacation with just me and my husband - take our honeymoon.
I won't....do the dishes unless I absolutely have to
I can....do artistic things - I'm pretty good at flower arrangements and all things crafty, surprisingly.
I can't....become bogged down by the pressures and stresses in life
I could....go for a nice drink with good friends.
I couldn't....be apart from my family, so we made the decision for us to not travel anymore.
I always....carry my cell phone - even if it is dead.
I never....have been to Washington DC, but I have always wanted to go!
I hate....when people won't let me do the job I was hired for.
I believe....that boredom is a state of mind.
I imagine....all the time, I love to let my mind wonder.
I regret....not getting married in a church, and having pictures taken, and a lovely honeymoon - but only part of me, the other part wonders why people normally spend so much on one day and that part of me also wonders if I should have experienced it for myself.
I speak....often, but sometimes I still feel unheard.
I sing....not as often as I used to, and I miss it.
I write....in my brain a lot, but it rarely makes it onto something for others to see.
I enjoy....spending time with my mom - the older I get the more I love doing it.
I eat....the outside of a kit kat bar first
I drink....tea - I don't know why, but I love it.
I like....sparkly flats and my favorite blue jeans, and playing silly games on the computer.
I wish....we would win the lottery and never have to worry about money and my family would be taken care of forever.
I hope....and I am learning how to build my hope on Jesus and His salvation - it has been a long road for me.
I remember....life before Dylan, and Life after
I enjoy....sleeping,reading, musicals, shopping, and spending time with Tim & D
I miss....sleeping in!
I feel....lucky :).
I work....a lot, but I am grateful because it is not fun to not have a job
I dream....of owning a house and having another child
I see....everything moving so fast.
I hear....my son crying at night these days - I think he's having nightmares :(
I know....that my life has a Divine compass, and all I need to do is follow it.
I love....good friends, hot chocolate, diet coke, shopping, going to a musical, enjoying movies with my husband and playing with my son
I am....an oxymoron, complicated, simple, ever evolving.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Working again!
So after months of searching and praying, and hoping and worrying...I have a job. The bad news is I don't get paid for 30 days! What kind of crap is that?!? Well, I can talk to the boss and see if I can't get paid on a 15 day turn around instead of 30...I'm contemplating it. What do you all think?
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Today is Wednesday
Wow! Where do I start? Well, I got offered a job from Microseismic..and NO I am not afraid to put their name on here. I was promised a job, and given my pay scale, and told that after I passed their drug/background screens I would get hired and compensated for moving expenses. Because, I felt I had nothing to worry about on that front, I moved my family to Katy, TX and put in my 2 weeks notice at my other position. Sounds great right? Well, it WOULD have been great if the company hadn't taken back their offer! OH MY I was LIVID! Here I was, with no job or income, and a brand new apartment and all kinds of bills coming my way.
I'm still there by the way, but my livid has taken a backseat to my peace. I don't know how, and I don't know when..and I'm still anxious for m time to time, but I believe everything is going to be alright and I am going to get a job the RIGHT job when it is time. I am trying to forgive Microseismic and their butthead people that promised me one thing one day and took it all back the next...but it's just not happening for me yet. Maybe when I get a job and find out it was perfect, I'll be able to say no big deal, no harm done. But for the time being, I'm so mad that they left me and my family out in the cold it's hard to go about the task of forgiving them. PLUS, they have no regard for me or my family. So I'm vacillating between being totally fine with not having a job, and knowing everything will be okay..and being mad at Microseismic for leaving me without the availability to take care of my family. I am apparently complicated! Maybe with all this free time on my hands (not really, cause I'm job hunting A LOT) I will be able to get a grip on my multiple personalities regarding this...but probably not :).
I'm still there by the way, but my livid has taken a backseat to my peace. I don't know how, and I don't know when..and I'm still anxious for m time to time, but I believe everything is going to be alright and I am going to get a job the RIGHT job when it is time. I am trying to forgive Microseismic and their butthead people that promised me one thing one day and took it all back the next...but it's just not happening for me yet. Maybe when I get a job and find out it was perfect, I'll be able to say no big deal, no harm done. But for the time being, I'm so mad that they left me and my family out in the cold it's hard to go about the task of forgiving them. PLUS, they have no regard for me or my family. So I'm vacillating between being totally fine with not having a job, and knowing everything will be okay..and being mad at Microseismic for leaving me without the availability to take care of my family. I am apparently complicated! Maybe with all this free time on my hands (not really, cause I'm job hunting A LOT) I will be able to get a grip on my multiple personalities regarding this...but probably not :).
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
ChaChaChaChanges
Wow, it has been a long road to this one. At least it feels like it has, but I am so glad I am on it now. A little over a month ago my job took me (I am still here by the way) to North Dakota. Man I have never experienced cold like this before IN MY LIFE. I now have a new perspective for cold. I also had a lot of alone time (that I didn't want) as my family stayed in Oklahoma, because they weren't allowed to stay in camp here with me in ND. I have cried, felt alone, and become stronger. I may not enjoy ND as a state, because heaven help me I hate snow, but I have learned a lot about myself and my priorities.
For a long while I have wanted to get out of the traveling end of my profession, and find something in my industry that keeps me in one place and allows me to set down roots. I have made attempts to that end, but being in ND has really motivated me to make this a reality. I don't want to spend another month and a half without my family. It hurts to miss these times in my baby's life. I have applied at more places than I can even remember, and have had some small victories. I have 1 definite interview while I am on break, and 1 other possible one. I am hoping that something pans out, but because I have made it through ND I know I can make it through if it doesn't. Meanwhile though, I am praying my time in ND and being alone and traveling is coming to an end. I get to see Tim on Saturday, and Dylan a couple days later as Tim and I are driving down to Oklahoma.
For a long while I have wanted to get out of the traveling end of my profession, and find something in my industry that keeps me in one place and allows me to set down roots. I have made attempts to that end, but being in ND has really motivated me to make this a reality. I don't want to spend another month and a half without my family. It hurts to miss these times in my baby's life. I have applied at more places than I can even remember, and have had some small victories. I have 1 definite interview while I am on break, and 1 other possible one. I am hoping that something pans out, but because I have made it through ND I know I can make it through if it doesn't. Meanwhile though, I am praying my time in ND and being alone and traveling is coming to an end. I get to see Tim on Saturday, and Dylan a couple days later as Tim and I are driving down to Oklahoma.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
