I know this is probably something most people don't consider a testament. But I have never gone this long, and I am proud! Its been 5 days! 5 days!

Dylan - Almost 1 year old!

Dylan is growing up so fast! He just started day care yesterday, and it was a scary/sad/exciting day for both Tim & myself. I knew that it was something he needed - the interaction with other kids, and I am glad we finally did it. He LOVES it! All our fears were for nothing, because he went right in and didn't cry and loved playing and interacting with everyone from the very minute we went in.

Hoping for Change

I hate being in the waiting period. I hate being still. I have discovered lately more about myself than I care to admit. I am impatient. I have great expectations for the future, and I think my problem is differentiating between expectations and excited anticipation and anxious unproductive worry and self-pity.

I want things to change in my life. I want a different job, and roots. Those things are ok to want. My problem is I have been sitting around vascillating between wanting these things and feeling sorry for myself because I don't have these, and no one is listening to my wants or cares what I want..blah blah blah. I'm sure you see where this is going. It's the uncertainty and insecurity in the unknown that is hard for me to handle.

I am secure in the fact that I am loved - and loved unconditionally. I am certain I am blessed beyond my wildest comprehension. I don't deserve what I have, and I am so thankful that inspite of all my everything I am loved and blessed. Grace amazes me...

Sometimes it just takes looking at things from a different perspective, and this time I'm going to try to embrace my certainties and securities, and let go of the unknown - that's not my department anyhow :)