Itching For Something New

I have been feeling a little restless in my everyday life here lately. Not exactly sure why, because heaven knows I have enough to do in a day to keep myself occupied. I mean, I know tons of people have it worse off than me and have more things to do than myself, and I have tons to be grateful for...but I do have a lot to do:
My daily life:
1. Get up - and OMG I'm SOOOOOOOO bad at this one, I always press snooze like five million times before I actually sit up.
2. Get Ready - not the best at this one either, but fashion and general making myself look put together has never been a strong suit - it was much easier when I was in high school, and didn't have to look like an adult!
3. Get Dylan's cup - this one is EXTREMELY important, as first thing in the morning he wants a drink in a big way, and if you fail to do this step, life will not be pleasant until it is rectified - amazing how my child has trained me so well.
4. Get Dylan's Clothes ready - pretty self explanatory, but I will say he has a much easier selection to put together.
5. Get the diaper - cause lets face it, dirty diapers are a reality.
6. Get the D! - love this part, because he gives me a kiss and then proceeds to take a drink of the cup he has trained me to fetch for him.
7. Get him dressed - Yes, he is still holding his cup at this point :).
8. Gather all my crap and leave - this crap consists of whatever I brought home to work on the night before, occasionally diapers/wipes/extra clothes/swim suit for Dylan for his daycare, my purse, my phone - this is EXTREMELY important, my lunch bag, and of course Dylan - did I mention that he has trained me well?
9. Drive to Dylan's school - uneventful :)
10. Drop him off - on a side note he never says bye to me, and this is bothersome.
11. Drive to the Gas Station - and there I proceed to buy the largest Diet Coke I can possibly find, and yes I do this every morning.
12. Drive to work - this is boring, but my sister in law has been nice enough to talk to me on the way to make it not so boring :)
13. Work - while this isn't generally boring, it is never the same, and thus hard to create a synopsis for :).
14. Drive home - again talking to people and accomplishing the odds and ends calls you have to make in your life, because they don't seem to call you.
15. Pick up Dylan - this is mostly fun, but sometimes Dylan is incredibly whiny. He is incredibly happy to see me :).
16. Give D a snack - have I mentioned that I am well trained?
17. Gather my crap and go upstairs - see aforementioned crap for the list.
18. Find Dinner - I say find, because sometimes this doesn't include actually cooking.
19. Eat
20. Give D a bath - he enjoys this, and it gives me a little time to relax :)
21. Play with D a bit - this includes playing with cars, or reading books, or any number of things :).
21a. Tim puts D to bed - I put this in here just in case you wonder why D isn't sleeping! I never put him in the bed, I can't handle the crying.
22. Attempt to do some cleaning - this can include, but hasn't yet, the massive pile of both clean and dirty clothes that I have yet to address, or the kitchen or whatever.
23. Relax! - watching tv, reading, farmville, playing random card/domino games with Tim :)...oooh and maybe a glass of wine :D. (I found this really great one I like, and that is exciting to me and makes me feel fancy...just saying).
24. Shower - yes I do get clean at least once a day :).
25. Read - I love to read...and I do so every night!
26. Sleep - yay! And this is usually between 11:30 and 12:00am.
WHEW! I have no idea why I felt the need to list my day for you all, but I did, and it was a lot of work so I'm not deleting it, feel free to bypass the list all together.
I think I want a new fashion style, or hair style or something. I decided that I am looking boring lately. And maybe that stems from having a routine, I am SO not used to having one of those. I feel the need to dye my hair pink or purple or get some fun and funky new clothes. The problem with this is - I have no idea what! Ok maybe there is two problems, the second is I am not that great with the whole fashion/makeup/hairstyle thing (see 2 on the list).
What do you think about THIS hairstyle? Obviously this is not pink or purple or anything overly funky, but it is maybe something I can do at home. THIS is totally fun! Isn't it? Maybe with just pink and purple...:). And I'm thinking some new fun flats :), I can totally buy shoes! THESE might be on the agenda!
All this nonsensical ramblings just to say - I am not used to having a routine, and after years of hoping, wishing and praying for one, I have a home - a routine - a 'normal' life, and I feel bitter that I am feeling the need for some kind of makeover. I mean, I have wanted this for a long time! I am upset at myself for wanting more, because my dream of being in one place is now a reality. But maybe I'm being too hard on myself? I was a gypsy for a long time, and it's hard to go from one extreme to another. Maybe just a little personal change, instead of physical location change...:) I think I can handle that!

Parties-Work-Parties and Whatever Other Randomness I can Come up with

So my friend had what looked like a terrific party for her son last weekend, and it has inspired me to start thinking about Dylan's birthday party! But I am uninspired....I have NO idea what to do for a kid that is turning two while we are living in an apartment. Everything that you can go to like the jump houses or chuckeecheese either seem too old, too expensive, or too generic.
I could have a pool party at our apartment pool...but is the end of September a good time to be swimming? Alas I have no idea...I will continue to brainstorm - and am welcoming all ideas on this front.
I am playing catch up today at work - funny isn't it? I am blogging instead of catching up! Oh well, it has waited this long it can wait a few more minutes. Anyhow, during my mundane catching up at work thing I have been thinking about life. Don't worry, I am not going to get philisophical - just thinking about boring things like what to serve for dinner, and the fact that I sold my stock yesterday and wonder when that check will come in, and that diapers are so freaking expensive - and perhaps I should invest in one of those companies, and when are we going to get Tim's car out of the shop - because I am tired of paying for a rental. AND, I have been throwing royal pity parties for myself and really need to stop that.
Yes, I have been acting like I am 2. I get all bent out of shape for NO apparent reason - or even if I have a reason, I am overreacting. I am starting to get on my own nerves. So, I am vowing on my blog, with my vast audience of 1 or 2 people as a witness, to try harder to not get so pissy - I'll keep you posted.
So, I have also been thinking about a new car! We are going to consolidate to one vehicle instead of two and trade in both of our cars for one car. Any ideas? My husband wants to get this car, and I don't know how I feel about it. This is going to be MY car not his! Maybe I'm just being pissy again. Anyone else have any ideas? Something gas friendly prefered!
I think I succeeded in all over the map on this one :) I hope everyone else followed my disconnected thought process!

Finally Able to Breathe!

So I made the call.

This weekend I met with my sister and her husband, who is also an accountant, and went over our bills/budget. It was painful and invasive, but it needed to be done. We needed some help! We figured out that my Devon job was not even available for consideration given the money we are obligated to every month right now. So that made the decision clear - I have to stay where I am. I am a bit sad about it, but mostly just fine. It would have been nice working for an awesome company like Devon - but it's a whole lot nicer to have food and gas for the cars.
This morning I called Devon to tell them that I couldn't come work for them. The lady, as everyone I have ever talked to there has been, was incredibly nice and said that I need to make the decision that's best for my family, and she understands it is just business. I feel better already!

The Job Pull

So about 4 months ago I was frantically trying to get a job - because the one I was offered was turned down. Now I'm trying to figure out how to set boundaries for myself in my current job, and how to turn down an offer from an incredible company, AND send out resumes to more companies because apparently I'm pretty popular at the moment.
Amazing how much time can change your situation.
I don't know how to tell the amazing company that I'm going to pass on their offer - I don't even know if that is the best decision! I have weighed the pros and cons, and I don't know what the 'right' answer is. But I think I know what the 'right now' answer is...but uncertainty is heavy! How you make decisions like that without your head exploding is beyond me - and suggestions are more than welcome!
So now, I am awaiting my offer from the 'big dog' because who doesn't want to work for a big dog in their field? I mean it would like working for a mom & pop computer shop, and Apple gives you a call and says they want you! Fabulous - I hope I have that feeling one day! So I'm waiting, and trying to figure out how to break it off with a company...that part kind of sucks.

I

I've seen this on a few other blogs before, and thought I'd try it too...

I am....restless, needy, loved, cherished

I have....a life full of endless possibilities, and a fabulous husband, son and apartment too

I want....security

I fear....I will never find a place I fit outside my home and family.

I would....love to make my money problems cease to exist

I don't....exercise like I should

I did....quit my job, and it felt pretty good.

I didn't....have a plan on how life was going to work after the job was no more.

I will....go on a vacation with just me and my husband - take our honeymoon.

I won't....do the dishes unless I absolutely have to

I can....do artistic things - I'm pretty good at flower arrangements and all things crafty, surprisingly.

I can't....become bogged down by the pressures and stresses in life

I could....go for a nice drink with good friends.

I couldn't....be apart from my family, so we made the decision for us to not travel anymore.

I always....carry my cell phone - even if it is dead.

I never....have been to Washington DC, but I have always wanted to go!

I hate....when people won't let me do the job I was hired for.

I believe....that boredom is a state of mind.

I imagine....all the time, I love to let my mind wonder.

I regret....not getting married in a church, and having pictures taken, and a lovely honeymoon - but only part of me, the other part wonders why people normally spend so much on one day and that part of me also wonders if I should have experienced it for myself.

I speak....often, but sometimes I still feel unheard.

I sing....not as often as I used to, and I miss it.

I write....in my brain a lot, but it rarely makes it onto something for others to see.

I enjoy....spending time with my mom - the older I get the more I love doing it.

I eat....the outside of a kit kat bar first

I drink....tea - I don't know why, but I love it.

I like....sparkly flats and my favorite blue jeans, and playing silly games on the computer.

I wish....we would win the lottery and never have to worry about money and my family would be taken care of forever.

I hope....and I am learning how to build my hope on Jesus and His salvation - it has been a long road for me.

I remember....life before Dylan, and Life after

I enjoy....sleeping,reading, musicals, shopping, and spending time with Tim & D

I miss....sleeping in!

I feel....lucky :).

I work....a lot, but I am grateful because it is not fun to not have a job

I dream....of owning a house and having another child

I see....everything moving so fast.

I hear....my son crying at night these days - I think he's having nightmares :(

I know....that my life has a Divine compass, and all I need to do is follow it.

I love....good friends, hot chocolate, diet coke, shopping, going to a musical, enjoying movies with my husband and playing with my son

I am....an oxymoron, complicated, simple, ever evolving.

Working again!

So after months of searching and praying, and hoping and worrying...I have a job. The bad news is I don't get paid for 30 days! What kind of crap is that?!? Well, I can talk to the boss and see if I can't get paid on a 15 day turn around instead of 30...I'm contemplating it. What do you all think?

Today is Wednesday

Wow! Where do I start? Well, I got offered a job from Microseismic..and NO I am not afraid to put their name on here. I was promised a job, and given my pay scale, and told that after I passed their drug/background screens I would get hired and compensated for moving expenses. Because, I felt I had nothing to worry about on that front, I moved my family to Katy, TX and put in my 2 weeks notice at my other position. Sounds great right? Well, it WOULD have been great if the company hadn't taken back their offer! OH MY I was LIVID! Here I was, with no job or income, and a brand new apartment and all kinds of bills coming my way.
I'm still there by the way, but my livid has taken a backseat to my peace. I don't know how, and I don't know when..and I'm still anxious for m time to time, but I believe everything is going to be alright and I am going to get a job the RIGHT job when it is time. I am trying to forgive Microseismic and their butthead people that promised me one thing one day and took it all back the next...but it's just not happening for me yet. Maybe when I get a job and find out it was perfect, I'll be able to say no big deal, no harm done. But for the time being, I'm so mad that they left me and my family out in the cold it's hard to go about the task of forgiving them. PLUS, they have no regard for me or my family. So I'm vacillating between being totally fine with not having a job, and knowing everything will be okay..and being mad at Microseismic for leaving me without the availability to take care of my family. I am apparently complicated! Maybe with all this free time on my hands (not really, cause I'm job hunting A LOT) I will be able to get a grip on my multiple personalities regarding this...but probably not :).