Sisters - Emotions and Misunderstandings

I think my sister is nuts.  No really, I do..or at least bipolar or something.  Don't get me wrong, I love her (even if I don't think I really do at certain moments of frustration) and  she has many admirable qualities.  Perhaps I have too many hormones to deal with her day in and day out at the present, who knows.  But I do think she is nuts.  Bonafide.
There have been a couple of instances that this has reared it's ugly head - one time when she was telling me she was going to have the holidays at her house now, and my parents were going to cater to her, because that's just how it is.  I don't do well with ultimatums.  Normally I'm pretty easy going and even keel.  But occasionally something strikes a nerve - and that did.  She said it in reaction to my suggesting that I wasn't to keen on this idea.  I don't understand why if most of the people live in Katy we would have holidays in Houston in a much smaller space than necessary to accommodate people?  After I said this, she got angry - as happens often when I disagree with her, and she went off on how the parents were just going to do what she wanted anyway so I can do whatever I want and they will have holidays without me.  I was upset at this for several reasons.  1. I do not enjoy ultimatums.  2.  The purpose of getting together for holidays is the getting together part, and purposefully excluding someone because they disagree with you is just plain petty.  and 3.  because she is probably right, my parents DO whatever she wants - because the squeaky wheel gets the grease I suppose, not quite sure why.
Another instance, happened a few weeks ago.  I had discovered I was pregnant and was discussing names with her.  I through out the name Nicolas saying I liked it - and she had a cow.  Huge one.  She went on and on about her being offended by this choice of name, but couldn't articulate WHY she was offended.  She tore down my character and told me that I always wished people to bow down to me because I was so sensitive, and wouldn't give someone else the same benefit.  When all I was asking was why or how I was being offensive, so I wouldn't do it again.  I truly didn't want to offend her - but I was lost as to how naming my child a name that millions of other people have is so offensive to her.  A snippet of what was said via IM:
Joelle: bc its what my middle name was named after
me: so?
Joelle: i'm offendedme: okI would think you'd be excitedbecause it would be named after you tooJoelle: if u want to name him after peopletry u or ur husbandme: .I"m not even going thereI liked the nameI was spelling it that was as a nod towards dad and mexican heritageJoelle: i don't want any part of it then. u always tell me when ur offended. i'm telling u when i'm offended..if u want people to respect u when u say your upset, u need to respect what other people sayme: but you aren't telling me why
but ur offending me
and i find it disrespectful
me: I haven't done anything yet!
Joelle: i just think its rude u would think of it
me: why?
it's a name joelle
Joelle: use ur names if u want to continue a tradition
me: plenty of people have it
Joelle: i don't fight u on when u get upset
and find things offensive
i think its very disrespectful
do what u want
but i odn't want any part of it
me: so no baby shower because I thought of the name nicolas?
Joelle: i'm getting very offended
the more u talk
please say sorry
and move on
me: I am not doing anything
Joelle: i say sorry when i offend u
me: I'm sorry I offended you
Joelle: its ur turn to say sorry for offending me
thank u
me: but I don't think I did anything wrong.
Joelle: whats hte point in apologizing then
thats whats wrong with u
me: because
Joelle: u get soo offended very fast
me: I am sorry i offended you
Joelle: and u expect everyone to bow down to you
but then th emoment someone gets offended by you
me: you want to talk about what's wrong with people/
Joelle: ur a saint
me: ?
Joelle: and u don't owe anyone anything
i think u owe me more than tha
me: ok
Joelle: u owe me just to be decent to me
me: what do I owe you?
I am not being indecent
idk what you are talking about
I am not trying to provoke anything
Joelle: and immediately said u did nothing wrong
u might as well not say anything
me: I don't understand what I did wrong
I am asking for you to explain
not picking a fight
Joelle: just so you know
this can go 2 ways
me: you are the one telling me how awful of a person I am
Joelle: no
i'm saying i'm offended
me: yes you really are
Joelle: and u need to apologize and make it right
me: I understand that
I did!
I am asking you to explain what I did
Joelle: u can't apologize then say u don't do anything wrong
me: for several reasons
1. because I don't want to have this stupid discussion again
Joelle: u get offended fast, u want other people to respect that and take u seriously. so u need to do the same thing.
me: 2. because I don't want to offend you regardless of what you think
fine
i have some ideas
me: i did
I'm not doing it again
I have explained myself
I think I owe the same
Joelle: really?
thats how u are?
me: I am owed the same
no
Joelle: just remember this when u get offended
me: that's how you are
Joelle: i'll remind u
i promise

Joelle: do what u need to..
me: I apologized for offending you
Joelle: just say sorry so we can talk about ur baby shower
The last one happened just Saturday.  She is upset and 'annoyed' because she feels as though we didn't have the proper reaction to her having a blow out on the side of the road.  Picture this, it's late at night and everyone in my house is asleep.  My cell phone rings, I answer it and my sister says 'Let me talk to Tim'.  No explanation no nothing.  Just let me talk to your sleeping husband.  My initial reaction is 'He's asleep, Joelle'.  Then she explains that they are on the side of the road and need car help.  So I hand the phone over to Tim after I woke him up.  He then talks to her husband about how they had a blow out, and are missing the tire iron to take off the tire, and then to jack up the car.  Tim's initial reaction is "sure I'll help, I just don't know where you are." He says this several times.  (at least 3).  Keith (my sister's husband) then says he'll call right back. (which doesn't happen).  After this, Tim is more awake.  He starts thinking about everything and decides while he will still go help, he doesn't believe his lug wrench that came with his car will take off their tire.  (by the way - stock Hyundai Elantras, Joelle's car, have a lug hex that is 21mm, Tim's car has a 19mm hex, and mine is 17mm.).  Because my sister hadn't called back, he texted her this information.  To which she responded 'Don't worry about it, my dad is coming to help'.  Which, by the way, makes more sense because my mom has a Hyundai as well.  I knew immediately she was angry.  And today she tells me that it was an eye opening experience as to our character because everyone else jumped up at the chance to help them, but we did not.  I tried to explain to her that we were more than willing to come help, Tim was just trying to let them know that he might not be able to accomplish any more than them.  This she suggested was another excuse to be able to stay in bed.  I'm not going to lie, staying in bed would have been preferable, but Tim was going to help them! He was getting dressed and everything. A snippet again of what she said to me regarding that evening. 

 Joelle:  so i was bit annoyed with you with yoru actions or lack there of on saturday
but i remembered that tim has been very helpful.
even if you weren't very nice.
so its okay
 Sent at 11:26 AM on Tuesday
 Joelle:  i was annoyed that laurel was coming in from clear lake to help me. but you didn't even want to wake tim up. and mom and dad came in a heart beat.
and i feel like i do alot to try to
help you and give yall things. and we were stuck on the side of the road on the highway in the middle of the night
and you would of just left us there
but it is okay
i'll get over it
just need some time

I didn't respond via IM, but mine was just basically trying to explain to her the entire scenario again.  And why we were trying to let her know this prior to us going down there.  /sigh.  I need a vacation.

Confessions

I have several confessions to make, and because I have a blog I can do them here :) (yay for you).

1.  I have not watched ANY of the Olympics

2.  As you may have guessed from my first confession - I do not care much about the Olympics.

3.  I really want a Diet Coke : / - but alas being pregnant means I cannot have one.

4.  I have a love/hate relationship with moving.  I really would love to be in a new place - but so would hate to do what I have to do to get there.  And looks like I'm going to hate it - move out day is August 29th!

5.  I only wear makeup on Sundays - mostly because I'm too lazy to get out of bed early enough to wear it any other day. Sad, yes I know.

6.  I super need to dye my hair - back to being lazy I suppose. :(

7.  If you have some sort of contagious disease/and or illness it is your RESPONSIBILITY to tell someone that you have it and that it is indeed contagious. Ok that wasn't really a confession, but it still ticks me off.

8.  I change the name for the baby everyday.

9.  Work is not always as appealing as I would like it to be - and most of the time I just would rather take a nap - especially here lately : /

10.  I'm out of confessions because now I just want a nap.


:)

A Boy!

Well it's officially another boy :).  Some people are asking if I am disappointed, but I'm not really.  Part of me (prior to the whole ultrasound thing) wanted a girl, but part of me wanted to have the familiar.  A boy will be great! Dylan will have a friend (hopefully), and this girl with only sisters will figure out what it means to be the only woman in a house of 3 guys!

Here's the new bundle :)

We are now looking at names.  I believe we have narrowed it down to 2, but we are still open to others.  We like the names Nicholas & Ian - 2 differing middle names go with them.  My sister about flipped out about the name Nicholas...simply because her middle name is Nicole.  She is nuts sometimes.  Anyhow, any name suggestions?

In A Month

So, in a month a lot of things are happening! I will find out if I'm having a boy or a girl.  (I don't have any girl names...EEK), and Tim finishes school! He's currently working and going to school, so he's gone about 15 hrs a day doing both.  It's awesome, and extra money and benefits are wonderful, but it's hard to not see him but an hour a day.
So...girl names.  I don't know why I can't find one that I absolutely adore? Here are some on the list.  I really like the name Rose - but I think I like it for a middle name.
Clarissa
Corey
Helen
Ella
Erin
Harper
But my husband doesn't like Erin or Harper....Erin because his nephew's name is Aaron, and Harper because he knew someone who's last name was Harper that he didn't like.  And he isn't crazy about Ella because he said it sounds old.
/SIGH. Compromise is hard.

New Scary Beginnings

Dylan is almost 3. He's almost potty trained! And he has almost trained us to let him sleep with us every night - uh we so have to work on that. But he's a cutie.

See? Anyhow, we found out about 2 weeks ago or so that I was pregnant again. Which would be glorious, if Tim had a job and we had maternity insurance, but alas we have neither. I am trying to look on the bright side, but it just looks so scary from here, I don't know what to do. We are going to have a baby (we haven't had our first ultrasound, because of the no insurance thing) with the anticipated due date being December 12, 2012. It sounds so real typing it out. I think I have been trying to bury my head in the sand about it. If I ignore it, maybe i will all work itself out, because I surely don't know how to fix it. Maybe I'm not supposed to know how by myself. I'm trying to not worry about it, I'm trying to be still...it's just so hard. I do believe this pregnancy is God ordained, even if my father is not as sure. Maybe that's another reason I am having such an issue - because I know what my dad is thinking. I am trusting in the plans that He has made for me, for my family, and trying to let go of my fear. :) We will be fine, I'm sure of it.

Hosanna!

I have recently started singing on the praise team at my church again. I haven't done that in years....in actually longer than I care to actually type - because that makes me older than I want to feel. ANYHOW, I started singing on the praise team...because they needed an alto, and hey Jessica, you can sing alto - please come join us...so here I am. I really didn't realize how much I had missed singing, even if it's not singing as much or the way I used to. We have one practice on Thursday evening, and then a quick over view on Sunday morning. Nothing major, and I'm sure the notes aren't exactly right, but it feels right. It feels good, and I love it. I love to see the congregation worship.
On Sunday we sang THIS song. It is an awesome song. I love the lyrics. I really feel a connection in my heart of hearts to what this song is saying.

Praise is rising, eyes are turning to You
We turn to You
Hope is stirring, hearts are yearning for You
We long for You
‘Cause when we see You, we find strength to face the day
In Your presence, all our fears are washed away
Washed away

Hosanna Hosanna
You are the God who saves us,
Worthy of all our praises
Hosanna Hosanna
Come have Your way among us
We welcome You here Lord Jesus

Hear the sound of hearts returning to You
We turn to You
In Your kingdom broken lives are renewed
You make us new
‘Cause when we see You, we find strength to face the day
In Your presence, all our fears are washed away
Washed away

Hosanna Hosanna
You are the God who saves us,
Worthy of all our praises
Hosanna Hosanna
Come have Your way among us
We welcome You here Lord Jesus

‘Cause when we see You, we find strength to face the day
In Your presence all our fears are washed away
‘Cause when we see You we find strength to face the day
In Your presence, all our fears are washed away
Washed away


Hosanna Hosanna
You are the God who saves us,
Worthy of all our praises
Hosanna Hosanna
Come have Your way among us
We welcome You here Lord Jesus

Hosanna Hosanna
You are the God who saves us
Worthy of all our praises
Hosanna Hosanna
Come have Your way among us
We welcome You here Lord Jesus
I love that and I love the feeling it evokes in me and I love that we have something to cleave to...because He left us something to cleave to.

‘Cause when we see You, we find strength to face the day
In Your presence, all our fears are washed away
Washed away

Birth of the Rocker Chick

So I got my hair done! I was super excited/semi nervous about the whole thing. I took pictures with me (I was proud of myself for being prepared) and it turned out well I think. I had a lady at church tell me yesterday 'Wow, I have always wanted to do something like that, but it never seems like the right time - so I will let my inner rock chick live vicariously through you!" She also asked me if I had piercings and tattoos...it was an interesting conversation to have on the church lawn, and it was quite shocking to know a lady (probably mid to upper 30s) who is always so impeccably dressed with five million kids feels the want (but not the bravado) to let her inner rocker chick out. By the way, incase you are wondering, I do have tattoos (4) but only one piercing that needed to be administered at the tattoo parlor (tragus) :D. As such, I have dubbed this transformation "Birth of the Rocker Chick". Now I'm going to do pictures! Yay!
This is me on the day I received my hair color/cut with the salon styling straight hair that magically stays that way even if it is humid as all get out.

Above is an overhead view of my color :D
Below is a side angle view of my hair - you can also see the purple in the back and not just the pink!

Here is my whole head - with me doing my hair (not as good as the salon, but I am trying)

And here is a casserole I made last night that was yummy! :D Just to change things up!

One last pic of my whole head with my lovely office backdrop!

I guess I could have smiled - but it is super hard to take a picture of yourself - have you noticed? Anywho, in continuation of my Rocker Chickness I think next on the agenda is a tattoo!
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The Random List

So my friend Jenn wrote this fabulous post about random revealing things about herself...and it was so much fun to read I thought I'd give it a try - by the by, her blog is excellent and I recommend reading it she seems to find a place to connect with you no matter where you are in life :). And so my List begins!

I love Diet Coke, but I feel really weird ordering a Quarter Pounder and a large Diet Coke...I feel the need to explain no I am not on a diet - obviously, I just enjoy Diet Coke!

I love to bake! But I hate to do dishes - and I feel the need to bake in a kitchen that is spotless when I start...so baking is a long process for me.

I love to write - lists or whatever, but only in blue or purple ink. It just looks prettier, and only ball point please!

I enjoy doing 10 key things. It is fun :)

Coloring is one of my all time favorite past times - I love the way crayons smell.

I very much want to sing - and am hurt when my father doesn't want to give me constructive criticism that I can work with.

My house is an absolute disaster area - all the time. This is why it takes me so long to bake.

Whenever I have some one come over to clean the house (I am paying them, mind you) I clean before they get there so I don't appear to be an absolute slob.

My car is in a similar state as my house - and I despise it, but can never seem to find the time to get it cleaned up!

I am obsessed with surveys that tell you your personality type, or pretend to dissect the way you think. I suppose I am obsessed with analyzing myself?

I love the way bible pages sound when they are being flipped. I suppose it doesn't have to be a bible...just the really thin pages.

I can eat a whole jar of Tostitos Spinach Artichoke dip in a few settings by myself. I prefer to eat this than any number of other things.

The Superfluous Hair Post

So I have been thinking about my hair a bit lately. I know it's not as awe inspiring or thought evoking as contemplating the universe or the meaning of life...but that's what I have been doing. I REALLY am craving something new in my life and I think a new hair do will fit the bill just right. Normally I would be about to move somewhere new or start a new job - but I am a homebody now, and so hair is where it's at for me at the moment.
So I don't know how most people go about having a new hair style. For me it's a lot of looking and looking and looking, and then I find like 15 things I like, so I end up going to the hair salon and tell them to do just whatever or try to combine these totally off the wall things that don't go. There are alot of articles out there about face shape and haircuts that best go with whatever shape. I apparently have an oval face. I measured it with a booklet from the fire extinguisher training. In my office. I will wait while you have the mental image of me holding up a white folded booklet in front of my face both length wise and width wise. This took several times of trying, by the way, and I have no idea if anyone was watching - nor do I particularly care. This was all in the name of science and my new do! So I found a hair cut I like. Here it is. What do you think? I am also doing a color. I am contemplating something like THIS. Maybe a color other than purple - although I love the idea of it! So now I am getting excited. I will post pictures after completion :D. And maybe, just maybe I will go into the hair salon with a plan that is actually valid.

Big ideas

So I have a big idea. I haven't exactly nailed down all the details yet, and I have no idea how long it will take to come to fruition. I want to help people. I want to start a charity that will help people that can't get a leg up. I don't want to give them money, I don't want to feed the chaos, I want to help them get off the ground and show them how to walk on their own.
I don't quite understand why I feel like I need to do this - but I do. The idea came to me during my million dollar game adventure with Tim. For those who do not know what this is - well you just aren't imaginative enough :). Just kidding. It's just basically outlining what you would do if you suddenly came into a bunch of money. I like to play it. It feels like a release. I love the land of make believe - it's probably why I love to read. Anyhow, I had this idea and as soon as I have a concrete what I'm going to do and how etc I'll fill everyone in :).
I am excited about it. I have no idea how to do it. But I'm excited :)

Am I Really That Random? Yes I guess I am

I've long held on to the motto that I am random, and it's something that if you do indeed want to be my friend, you will just have to get over. I have been contemplating this lately - because I really don't think I am that random. I know everyone (or most everyone) else thinks so - I have been told it often enough in my life, but I have never felt like the things that come out of my mouth are really that random, I have just never really taken the time to explain my jump from point A to B. Often times it has a very logical line.
I will admit that my thought processes are quirky and perhaps something that reminds me of something will not ring the same reminder in someone else's mind. :)
Anyhow, as I have been contemplating all my randomness (I'm good at contemplating - maybe not at finding solutions, but contemplating yes :)I decided that it doesn't matter if other people have a hard time following my pattern of speaking or consider it random...I don't have a problem with it.
I guess I am going to demonstrate some of my characterized randomness from others now as I move to a widely different subject.
My husband's sister went off on me on facebook. On FACEBOOK. While I do not have a problem with people telling me where they ate or their opinions on things on the social network, I feel that telling people off in public that can be archived and read later is outside the scope of the site's purpose, and overall just out of line. She is angry with me for not communicating with her enough and for sending pics to other people and not her. Pretty much that's the long and short of it, or at least what I gathered from the spew that was coming from her keyboard. She called me names, she defamed my character, she was rude. I tried my best to be nice, and understanding etc even though all I really wanted to do was reach through my computer screen and slap her! I don't need this drama, I don't need that drama. Whatever drama you have, I'm not in the market to buy.

How - Letting Go

So my previous post helped me a lot more than I thought it would. It helped for me to verbalize what I was internalizing for weeks. It leads me to wonder what other things I have been hanging on to and how if I just said it outloud (or via the blogging hemisphere) perhaps I would feel freed.
I have long struggled with the casting your burdens down for God to carry. Perhaps it's because it's such a physical image, and obviously I can not physically take off the burden of money from my back and hand it over. I have struggled with it because I quite frankly didn't know how.
People often give you these flowery blurbs 'Let go and let God' etc, but does anyone actually sit down and tell you HOW. How do I let go? How do I cast all my cares upon Him?
Anyhow, all this to say somehow the physical transference of thoughts to a page helps me do just this. Lay it down, cast it away, let go. I need the physical to do the mental/heart transfer. I don't know if I'm alone in this, but I'm imagining not.
A few years ago I figured out I needed this physical transfer. I like lists, what can I say? So I started writing letters to God. It helped me so much to just say - here you go, I have written about it now I don't have to worry about it anymore. I still struggle with the 'letting go and letting God' but writing has become such a wonderful outlet for me. I know I don't write here as much as I should. But even typing out some lines on here makes me feel a little lighter. :)

Exodus 14:14 - this has become my mantra. It will be until I can completely let it take over my world. :)

Dreaded

I have been delaying this post for several reasons. I am dreading what it will make me look like, and I am dreading people's reaction to it. Part of me wants to protect myself and save myself the vulnerable feeling that will inevitably follow me posting this publicly, but I have been putting it off long enough. I have thought about posting other things, but I think until I post this, I will be unable to move on in my semi-regular blogging adventure. I sound kinda melodramatic...and for this I apologize, I suppose I'm just trying to postpone as long as possible!

This is Kaylie Joy Pistole. She was born November, 10 2011 at 9:54pm weighing 5lbs 14oz and being 17.25 inches long and died on January 9, 2012. She was about 6 wks premature, and had to stay in the hospital for a week before she could be brought home. She was loved, and her loss is felt trememndously. She is survived by her 3 older siblings, Katlyn, Faith & Hope. Her passing has unleashed a whirlwind of emotion and much more tangible loss and chaos.

Her mom was/is (not sure how to define this, because it's just been a rough walk for us both) my best friend. I was deeply saddened by the loss of Kaylie's short life, and the emotions that would wreak havock on my friend, no matter how tumultuous our relationship. I feel guilty for not being able to be a more real part of this grieving process because I am located 3 hrs away. I feel guilty because I have only seen her once since Kaylie's passing, and did not attend the funeral/memorial/wake. And I feel guilty because I feel like Kaylie's passing is my friend's fault.

Let me back up, I do not think she's a bad mother, nor do I believe that she did anything malicious to harm her baby. I simply think she should have known better. She should have known better than to put an 8wk old baby to sleep on her stomach. She should have known better than to put a pillow in the baby's bassinet. It's an incredibly sad state of events, and I am so sorry it happened at all, and I am feeling incredibly guilty about my opinions/beliefs about the whole situation.

I feel like I cannot call my friend and talk to her without having awkward silences when she brings up anything to do with the baby's death. I don't want to tell her, and I don't think I SHOULD tell her my thoughts/opinions. What I really want is for that thought/opinion to go away. I want to convey that it's not her fault - but I can't bring myself to do it. All I can do is love her anyway at this point.

"Some moments last a lifetime, but sometimes moments are a lifetime."

Christmas is Nearly HERE!

I simply cannot believe Christmas is on Sunday. Where has the year gone? Where will next year go? Will I have enough time to crank out some pumpkin bread? Just a few reflections about this year, and because I am lazy and time has gotten away from me I have not sent out any kind of Christmas card this year - so consider this my Christmas newsletter from my family to you :).
This year a lot has happened (so cliche...but probably true most of the time)! Our little family took a big step out on faith and moved to Katy, TX from, well from wherever the job was before that - pretty much all over to one place :).
Tim is going to school to be an automotive technician and is loving it! He is doing well in school, and has passed 3 of his ASE certification tests already! I am immensely proud of the work he has put in and his success thus far in school, and he is excited to realize his goal of becoming a technician. Next year he plans on passing 6 more certification exams and becoming a Master Tech after his experience requirement is met, and hopes to get a job at a dealership as an assistant to get some hands on training. He is still loving video games, hanging out with our little man and working on Mia (his project car).
Jessica (that's me!) has made a change in career and is looking forward to what the next year may bring with the company she is currently employed with. I (sorry had to change tenses the 3rd person thing was weird) am loving being able to be home every night and to have a place to be able to become involved with a community and church. I joined a small book club and am enjoying interacting and reading new and different things! (I have ALWAYS wanted to be in one of those!).
Dylan is now 2 and is enjoying his daycare. He interacts well with the little kids at the daycare and is learning his numbers and colors. He is active and a whole lot of fun! This next step for him will be potty training! (cue scary music). We shall see how we handle all of that. He loves anything with wheels and locating school buses as they are 'yewwow wow!'.
Our little family is settling into everyday life and looking forward to purchasing a house somewhere on the horizon. We actually found one we like and may be in one sooner than we think!

BL - hold the T kick

So lately I have been lazy and not bringing my lunch. I just haven't had the energy or time or want to to (can you do that? to to? well, whatever I'm doing it) make lunches in the evening. Normally I dutifully prepare my lunch and a snack for D and my husband's lunch the evening before...but since I have come back from Thanksgiving I have not done it. 2 weeks is a long time to be eating out for lunch! Especially when you aren't used to the money being spent that way...oh well! In that time I have been eating BL's (because tomatoes are gross) from the little cafe downstairs in my office building.
Their food is not very good...as a rule eating there is kind of scary, but I have been on this BL kick for the past 2 weeks, and although I'm sure consuming that much bacon is not good for you - I have enjoyed it. I have forgotten how much I enjoy simple things like BL's or eggs and bacon for dinner. I think I have been overthinking meals for a while now, and serving things that take too long or are too 'fancy'. Like cornish hens with cream cheese mashed potatoes (which btw, no one liked except me).
My mom was never a good cook - she still isn't. We had about 8 go to meals we ate every week without fail: Spaghetti (sauce from the jar - Prego please :)), bbq baked chicken (and for so long I could not eat bbq sauce after that!), sloppy joes (I still haven't tried to eat these again!), hamburger helper, breakfast for dinner (mostly pancakes), roast (because what is a Sunday dinner without a roast?), and hamburgers. Pretty adventurous huh? She didn't bake anything that wasn't out of a box but she did make candy every Christmas! But none of that was really very important I suppose. What is important is I remember those dinners. She worked as a teacher and came home and we ate dinner together. She did it mostly on her own as my father traveled a lot when I was younger.
I need to go back and simplify the meals. It isn't about what I serve or how many desserts or cookies or whatnots I make, but about the time we spend together - even if it is McDonalds or bbq baked chicken!

Thanksgiving - PLEASE DO OVER!

For some reason I always have these really good clips where I write semi regularly, then I fall off the wagon...oh well. I am back. And I want a Thanksgiving do over!
So a week from this past Sunday we had our thanksgiving dinner with my family at my parents house. Turkey, dressing, the trimmings and of course I made a chocolate pecan pie, because I had to contribute something!

It was fun :). Then we went to our community group at church and had another dinner (not Thanksgiving menu) and I brought this veggie dish that I didn't take a picture of, but promise to next time. It was good, and went well with pasta.
THEN on Wednesday we left for Oklahoma to go see Tim's parents. I was excited about helping to make Thanksgiving dinner and hanging out with the in-laws and going shopping on black friday and having our mini Christmas celebration with them too! But I wasn't feeling so hot. My neck was hurting and I was tired, and hadn't really had any kind of appetite all day. I brushed it off. We got there late Wednesday evening and all pretty much just went to bed.
On Thursday we woke up and I felt worse. I was dizzy and tired and nauseous and my neck still hurt. I was not in the mood to cook anything, and really couldn't stand up at all. I sat at the kitchen table and made a chocolate pecan pie, and a fruit salad, and a brownie pie, but then I basically sat out for the rest of the time. I was lame. I was breaking out in cold sweats after dizzy spells and didn't eat at all any of the fruits of my mother in laws efforts.
On Thursday evening is when the culmination came and I decided I was sick. I was sitting on the toilet (maybe tmi, but whatever) and my in laws have one of those old houses where you can see yourself in the mirror while you're peeing or whatever and I was looking at myself in the mirror. I got really dizzy and I watched my face drain of all color. Then I sweated all over the place and got flushed. It was odd...and all I could do to pull my pants up and go lay in bed, which is exactly what I did.
Needless to say I did not go shopping on black Friday. I also didn't go to the doctor, cause I'm a moron maybe, but I didn't until Friday between about 3 and 4 when Dylan was down for a nap, I said "I think I need to go to the doctor" There was some debate, and they finally convinced me the ER was the only place to go at this time in this area, so we went. I could barely make it there.
When we got there and I signed my name and answered the lady's questions, all the while thinking, "This is nuts! You should ask ppl who AREN'T sick to do this..I didn't come to the ER to have an oral test!". Then I waited (not very long as this is not a big hospital). And got called back. They let me sit on a bed...YAY! (I laid on it). They took my blood pressure...it was 79/49....my first thought was of humor for two reasons. 1. because I normally have high blood pressure, and for those of you not in the know 120/60 is about normal and 2. because they had this big debate the night before because my mother in law swore she could tell my blood pressure by my pulse and she guessed it was like 140 over something...we later steered her in the right direction and told her you can't tell blood pressure that way, but still funny right? Cause she was a little off...HOWEVER, my pulse was high (126). Ok, then they made me pee in a cup, and I was disgusted and scared by what I produced into that cup. It was just scary....I don't want to go into any more detail about it than that. Ok then, the doctor came in and said...'You're blood pressure is really low, and you're pulse is kinda high' and I am apparently very sarcastic when I am not feeling well, maybe always, cause my thought was 'I came all the way here for that? I could have done that!'. Then he left and did whatever he does, and then popped back in and said your urine is terribly infected (which I could tell by the scariness) and you are dehydrated and we are worried that you have lost some kidney function. We are going to start you on an IV antibiotic and some liquids and flush them out and you're going to have to stay overnight. GREAT. Overnight in the smallest hospital I've ever seen 8 hours away from my house. :(
Tim was great though, he stayed the first night with me and most of the next day, he brought Dylan up to see me and helped me pee. :) I was feeling much better and I thought I was going to get to leave Saturday, but that didn't happen...but thankfully I got to leave Sunday afternoon and eat REAL food! yay! That was my Thanksgiving adventure...so I'd like a redo! I missed all the pie and food!! Oh well, probably for the best anyhow. I just wish I could have spent more time enjoying my company rather than being an invalid!

New Car and Other Excitingness!

This weekend was a whirlwind! Tim and I attempted to sell his truck by putting it on Auto Trader a few weeks back, and to our surprise fairly soon after we placed the ad a buyer from American Auto Brokers called us to make us an offer. The offer didn't cover the difference of what we owed on the truck, but it was SIGNIFICANTLY more than anyone else has offered us for trade. So I called up the dealership and asked about making a trade in of both of our cars we had notes on (the 2500 truck, and the RAV4) for one vehicle from them.
They got us preapproved, and it was pain free! The whole experience was totally awesome, and I would recommend them to anyone in the market for a used truck/suv/and some cars. They don't have a big car selection, but maybe you could luck out like us and get a car like THIS! Which is the car we got :) Totally wonderfully awesome, yes?
ANYHOW, then I came home and took care of D, went to church & small group on Sunday and started preparing for his party. My little boy is turning two tomorrow! We are having his party this weekend and my father in law is coming - but that is another story entirely.
I made a cupcake cake. I had read about them online and heard about them through friends, and my sister actually had one made for my other sister's birthday not too long ago, so I wanted to attempt to make one myself. Here are my results.

I am going to add some finishing touches - some more frosting and some decorations. I will update you on what it looks like later :D.
My little boy turns 2! Here is a last look at him at 1, because the next time I post pics of him, he will more than likely be 2 - cause his birthday is tomorrow in case you have forgotten during my ramblings (ok, yes I know that explanation was probably not needed, but I cannot help myself! I think I talk to stupid people too often!).

Catching up :)

A lot has happened recently! Maybe not monumental excitingness, but a lot for my family just the same.

We got our new couch - and YES it's purple :)! I got a rug too, thank you Tim for the very nice anniversary present!

I also got very pretty anniversary flowers marking the 2nd year of our marriage! Yay Tim! And we went to a VERY nice restaurant for our anniversary dinner - and it was super yummy and ritzy and fancy.

D taught Tim how to play on his bike - and he went along for a ride for extra measure

We've had some fun at McDonalds - these guys are just too cute together aren't they? <3

D has tried to convince us to join him playing in the mud - but he had a lot of fun in it by himself!

We have had fun playing outside...and BOY has it been HOT! I never thought I'd want to go back to the cold...but I'm ready for some cool at least, and so is D! Just look at those cheeks!

My mother-in-law came for a visit and surprised D by getting him the very thing he has been wanting (if an almost 2 year old can tell you such things). He sure enjoys his early birthday present :).

Our little family has had a lot of fun the past few weeks, and I'm looking forward to a busy weekend schedule ahead! Sooooo nice to be home and be able to call the place I am actually living that. We are going to try to trade in our cars for one (keep your fingers crossed!), and we are going to have D's birthday party in a few weeks, we are going to a McNeese game to see my sister, and I am trying to get more involved in the Women's ministry at church...TRYING. We shall see...in the meantime we are having lots of fun enjoying each other on a day to day basis just doing the regular excitingness stuff :).

So then there was me

My little man is growing up. He is wonderfully exciting and fun to be around, and I love him to pieces. He is excitable and fun loving. He screams and cries and throws random tantrums. I can't seem to wrap my head around the shifts in his moods. Don't get me wrong the shifts always happen for a 'reason'. Like I didn't give him what he wanted to eat, he had to be strapped into the car seat and would much rather roam free, etc. I guess my real problem is trying to find the balance between the Mommy that wants to give him the world and the Mommy that wants him to be a well behaved/balanced little boy instead of a spoiled brat.
I am struggling with this balance....I guess it's because of my father. That sounds like I'm blaming him, doesn't it? Well, I am not. He was a great father, but he always hurt my feelings in his 'discipline.' I was never strong enough, I was overly sensitive, blah blah blah. I don't want to hurt D's feelings, I want him to feel safe and loved, but I want him to have discipline. How do I do that without turning into the very thing I feared in my father for so long?
I pray every day that I am the patient and loving Mommy that D deserves. I want to be kind and loving, and firm and guiding. Sounds easy enough huh? I am so blessed to have been rewarded by having a child, and he's awesome...just trying to find my way to be just as awesome for him :).

To Do Lists

I love making lists - everyday at work at the end of the day I make myself a list of things that need to be done the next day. I make lists in my head all the time, it makes things feel more manageable and there's something very satisfactory about checking off something that has been completed on the list. My to do list today is very long, and kind of daunting. I have one for both work and home and here it is:
1. MB - set to pay
2. MB - enter permits
3. Alta - enter permits
4. BC - enter permits
5. BC - attach permits
6. MB - attach permits (1302)
7. Do Craigslist ad - we are selling the truck, or going to attempt to, and I need to get it on there!
8. Register the Civic - Tim got a new car (old, but new to him) to be his everyday drive car so we can attempt to get rid of the truck
9. Wash dishes!!!! - I am starting to loathe going home to my awfully messy kitchen/house
10. Do laundry - have I mentioned my house is an absolute wreck?
11. Buy an office chair for the house - I have rearranged my living area so my old 'office chair' is now a living area chair. It doesn't match, but I will tackle that later.
12. Finish Mom's website - we made great strides last night, and I hope to have it totally done soon!
My list feels overwhelming - and I long to have a clean house and planned meals daily, I just don't know how to get there. Perhaps this week will be the week I get it done!