New Scary Beginnings

Dylan is almost 3. He's almost potty trained! And he has almost trained us to let him sleep with us every night - uh we so have to work on that. But he's a cutie.

See? Anyhow, we found out about 2 weeks ago or so that I was pregnant again. Which would be glorious, if Tim had a job and we had maternity insurance, but alas we have neither. I am trying to look on the bright side, but it just looks so scary from here, I don't know what to do. We are going to have a baby (we haven't had our first ultrasound, because of the no insurance thing) with the anticipated due date being December 12, 2012. It sounds so real typing it out. I think I have been trying to bury my head in the sand about it. If I ignore it, maybe i will all work itself out, because I surely don't know how to fix it. Maybe I'm not supposed to know how by myself. I'm trying to not worry about it, I'm trying to be still...it's just so hard. I do believe this pregnancy is God ordained, even if my father is not as sure. Maybe that's another reason I am having such an issue - because I know what my dad is thinking. I am trusting in the plans that He has made for me, for my family, and trying to let go of my fear. :) We will be fine, I'm sure of it.

Hosanna!

I have recently started singing on the praise team at my church again. I haven't done that in years....in actually longer than I care to actually type - because that makes me older than I want to feel. ANYHOW, I started singing on the praise team...because they needed an alto, and hey Jessica, you can sing alto - please come join us...so here I am. I really didn't realize how much I had missed singing, even if it's not singing as much or the way I used to. We have one practice on Thursday evening, and then a quick over view on Sunday morning. Nothing major, and I'm sure the notes aren't exactly right, but it feels right. It feels good, and I love it. I love to see the congregation worship.
On Sunday we sang THIS song. It is an awesome song. I love the lyrics. I really feel a connection in my heart of hearts to what this song is saying.

Praise is rising, eyes are turning to You
We turn to You
Hope is stirring, hearts are yearning for You
We long for You
‘Cause when we see You, we find strength to face the day
In Your presence, all our fears are washed away
Washed away

Hosanna Hosanna
You are the God who saves us,
Worthy of all our praises
Hosanna Hosanna
Come have Your way among us
We welcome You here Lord Jesus

Hear the sound of hearts returning to You
We turn to You
In Your kingdom broken lives are renewed
You make us new
‘Cause when we see You, we find strength to face the day
In Your presence, all our fears are washed away
Washed away

Hosanna Hosanna
You are the God who saves us,
Worthy of all our praises
Hosanna Hosanna
Come have Your way among us
We welcome You here Lord Jesus

‘Cause when we see You, we find strength to face the day
In Your presence all our fears are washed away
‘Cause when we see You we find strength to face the day
In Your presence, all our fears are washed away
Washed away


Hosanna Hosanna
You are the God who saves us,
Worthy of all our praises
Hosanna Hosanna
Come have Your way among us
We welcome You here Lord Jesus

Hosanna Hosanna
You are the God who saves us
Worthy of all our praises
Hosanna Hosanna
Come have Your way among us
We welcome You here Lord Jesus
I love that and I love the feeling it evokes in me and I love that we have something to cleave to...because He left us something to cleave to.

‘Cause when we see You, we find strength to face the day
In Your presence, all our fears are washed away
Washed away

Birth of the Rocker Chick

So I got my hair done! I was super excited/semi nervous about the whole thing. I took pictures with me (I was proud of myself for being prepared) and it turned out well I think. I had a lady at church tell me yesterday 'Wow, I have always wanted to do something like that, but it never seems like the right time - so I will let my inner rock chick live vicariously through you!" She also asked me if I had piercings and tattoos...it was an interesting conversation to have on the church lawn, and it was quite shocking to know a lady (probably mid to upper 30s) who is always so impeccably dressed with five million kids feels the want (but not the bravado) to let her inner rocker chick out. By the way, incase you are wondering, I do have tattoos (4) but only one piercing that needed to be administered at the tattoo parlor (tragus) :D. As such, I have dubbed this transformation "Birth of the Rocker Chick". Now I'm going to do pictures! Yay!
This is me on the day I received my hair color/cut with the salon styling straight hair that magically stays that way even if it is humid as all get out.

Above is an overhead view of my color :D
Below is a side angle view of my hair - you can also see the purple in the back and not just the pink!

Here is my whole head - with me doing my hair (not as good as the salon, but I am trying)

And here is a casserole I made last night that was yummy! :D Just to change things up!

One last pic of my whole head with my lovely office backdrop!

I guess I could have smiled - but it is super hard to take a picture of yourself - have you noticed? Anywho, in continuation of my Rocker Chickness I think next on the agenda is a tattoo!
javascript:void(0)

The Random List

So my friend Jenn wrote this fabulous post about random revealing things about herself...and it was so much fun to read I thought I'd give it a try - by the by, her blog is excellent and I recommend reading it she seems to find a place to connect with you no matter where you are in life :). And so my List begins!

I love Diet Coke, but I feel really weird ordering a Quarter Pounder and a large Diet Coke...I feel the need to explain no I am not on a diet - obviously, I just enjoy Diet Coke!

I love to bake! But I hate to do dishes - and I feel the need to bake in a kitchen that is spotless when I start...so baking is a long process for me.

I love to write - lists or whatever, but only in blue or purple ink. It just looks prettier, and only ball point please!

I enjoy doing 10 key things. It is fun :)

Coloring is one of my all time favorite past times - I love the way crayons smell.

I very much want to sing - and am hurt when my father doesn't want to give me constructive criticism that I can work with.

My house is an absolute disaster area - all the time. This is why it takes me so long to bake.

Whenever I have some one come over to clean the house (I am paying them, mind you) I clean before they get there so I don't appear to be an absolute slob.

My car is in a similar state as my house - and I despise it, but can never seem to find the time to get it cleaned up!

I am obsessed with surveys that tell you your personality type, or pretend to dissect the way you think. I suppose I am obsessed with analyzing myself?

I love the way bible pages sound when they are being flipped. I suppose it doesn't have to be a bible...just the really thin pages.

I can eat a whole jar of Tostitos Spinach Artichoke dip in a few settings by myself. I prefer to eat this than any number of other things.

The Superfluous Hair Post

So I have been thinking about my hair a bit lately. I know it's not as awe inspiring or thought evoking as contemplating the universe or the meaning of life...but that's what I have been doing. I REALLY am craving something new in my life and I think a new hair do will fit the bill just right. Normally I would be about to move somewhere new or start a new job - but I am a homebody now, and so hair is where it's at for me at the moment.
So I don't know how most people go about having a new hair style. For me it's a lot of looking and looking and looking, and then I find like 15 things I like, so I end up going to the hair salon and tell them to do just whatever or try to combine these totally off the wall things that don't go. There are alot of articles out there about face shape and haircuts that best go with whatever shape. I apparently have an oval face. I measured it with a booklet from the fire extinguisher training. In my office. I will wait while you have the mental image of me holding up a white folded booklet in front of my face both length wise and width wise. This took several times of trying, by the way, and I have no idea if anyone was watching - nor do I particularly care. This was all in the name of science and my new do! So I found a hair cut I like. Here it is. What do you think? I am also doing a color. I am contemplating something like THIS. Maybe a color other than purple - although I love the idea of it! So now I am getting excited. I will post pictures after completion :D. And maybe, just maybe I will go into the hair salon with a plan that is actually valid.

Big ideas

So I have a big idea. I haven't exactly nailed down all the details yet, and I have no idea how long it will take to come to fruition. I want to help people. I want to start a charity that will help people that can't get a leg up. I don't want to give them money, I don't want to feed the chaos, I want to help them get off the ground and show them how to walk on their own.
I don't quite understand why I feel like I need to do this - but I do. The idea came to me during my million dollar game adventure with Tim. For those who do not know what this is - well you just aren't imaginative enough :). Just kidding. It's just basically outlining what you would do if you suddenly came into a bunch of money. I like to play it. It feels like a release. I love the land of make believe - it's probably why I love to read. Anyhow, I had this idea and as soon as I have a concrete what I'm going to do and how etc I'll fill everyone in :).
I am excited about it. I have no idea how to do it. But I'm excited :)

Am I Really That Random? Yes I guess I am

I've long held on to the motto that I am random, and it's something that if you do indeed want to be my friend, you will just have to get over. I have been contemplating this lately - because I really don't think I am that random. I know everyone (or most everyone) else thinks so - I have been told it often enough in my life, but I have never felt like the things that come out of my mouth are really that random, I have just never really taken the time to explain my jump from point A to B. Often times it has a very logical line.
I will admit that my thought processes are quirky and perhaps something that reminds me of something will not ring the same reminder in someone else's mind. :)
Anyhow, as I have been contemplating all my randomness (I'm good at contemplating - maybe not at finding solutions, but contemplating yes :)I decided that it doesn't matter if other people have a hard time following my pattern of speaking or consider it random...I don't have a problem with it.
I guess I am going to demonstrate some of my characterized randomness from others now as I move to a widely different subject.
My husband's sister went off on me on facebook. On FACEBOOK. While I do not have a problem with people telling me where they ate or their opinions on things on the social network, I feel that telling people off in public that can be archived and read later is outside the scope of the site's purpose, and overall just out of line. She is angry with me for not communicating with her enough and for sending pics to other people and not her. Pretty much that's the long and short of it, or at least what I gathered from the spew that was coming from her keyboard. She called me names, she defamed my character, she was rude. I tried my best to be nice, and understanding etc even though all I really wanted to do was reach through my computer screen and slap her! I don't need this drama, I don't need that drama. Whatever drama you have, I'm not in the market to buy.