I hate being in the waiting period. I hate being still. I have discovered lately more about myself than I care to admit. I am impatient. I have great expectations for the future, and I think my problem is differentiating between expectations and excited anticipation and anxious unproductive worry and self-pity.
I want things to change in my life. I want a different job, and roots. Those things are ok to want. My problem is I have been sitting around vascillating between wanting these things and feeling sorry for myself because I don't have these, and no one is listening to my wants or cares what I want..blah blah blah. I'm sure you see where this is going. It's the uncertainty and insecurity in the unknown that is hard for me to handle.
I am secure in the fact that I am loved - and loved unconditionally. I am certain I am blessed beyond my wildest comprehension. I don't deserve what I have, and I am so thankful that inspite of all my everything I am loved and blessed. Grace amazes me...
Sometimes it just takes looking at things from a different perspective, and this time I'm going to try to embrace my certainties and securities, and let go of the unknown - that's not my department anyhow :)
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1 comment:
Waiting is hard. It sucks actually. Usually though, when the waiting is over and done, something beautiful has been birthed from our hearts. And then all the waiting finally makes sense.
Hoping the waiting comes to an end soon. I'm excited to see what lies ahead for you.
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